Third Grade Field Trip

Ali,

I teared up a lot while reading your words. My son has Asperger's and is 7 years old and I am starting to notice more of a social gap also. There are times when I get so sad watching him try so hard to interact with his peers and not understanding why they make fun or don't want to play "his" games. Thank you for reminding me to watch for the other things...when he is happy...how much he loves his mama...how much he loves his games. You inspire me to be a better mom!

The greatest thing about kids is that they bounce back. The greatest thing for Simon is his family. He is so lucky to have such a warm and caring Circle to surround him. (It is hard to watch those kiddos who don't have this and often flounder on their own). Ali, Simon WILL fly and he WILL stumble, but each step is a learning step. As for all of us, his path is HIS path. Continue to Love him, Encourage him, Direct him and Accept him. He will make his way. Watching his grow has been a priviledge and I know I speak for others-We are so proud of him. The trip looked great and I am so envious- as a mid-westerner, beach adventures for us include a 12 hour drive!

The honesty is what you are not saying touches my heart.Warm hugs and thoughts to all of you.

I can so relate to your feelings Ali. It is so rewarding, yet so heartbreaking to see them grow and move toward independence. I vividly remember my painful mix of emotions when my oldest very gently and clearly trying not to hurt my feelings told me that he'd really like for me not to go on his 8th grade field trip because he'd like to see what it was like to not have a parent along on one! I have to keep reminding myself that this is my job- to prepare him to spread his wings and fly on his own (well, without Mom anyway but always with God of course!)

it's so hard watching them grow up....my girls are a bit different than most and didn't really fit in with anyone at school. they complained all the time about having no friends and getting teased, bullied a bit....this year was our first year of homeschooling and they LOVED it. so happy I made that change as this area (and our schools) are a little shady!
much love to your mama heart!
xoxo
tara

My almost 12 year old son was mentioning to me on a walk that he is not at the "top" of his world but he also is not at the "bottom". Hard to hear those words from him. I feel for you Ali. This parenting stuff is tough and not for the tender hearted sometimes.

Hello sweet Ali....

I LOVE the photos! We are over in Eastern Oregon and our charter school does a 6th grade trip for four days to get this same experience!!!!

And.. I am mom whose son has some difficulties with the majority of his peers. (I also have a 13 year old daughter, and she is very social and has absolutely no problems in this area). My son is 12, and this was his 'tough' year socially. He is the smallest, gets picked on, and is often in his 'own world'. He is not a tough, sports loving kid. Although he was on the basketball team this year, and lives and 'works' on a ranch. Nope. He is the Lego boy, or the boy who plays with Magic tricks, or that reads huge novels, and is super smart and 'out there' when it comes to how things work. And...he has a heart. A heart of gold. He just needs to find 'his people' and I told him, there are tons of people that have the same interests and he will find them as he gets older and gets around more people. We live in a very rural area, and at times it has its disadvantages.

My heart goes out to you. I think as mother's our pain exceeds our children's. And we both gain from 'getting through' the difficulties.

Peace to you.

I'm in the same third grade boat with a special needs kid. Big hug. You're right that if he's happy, that's what matters.

My son just turned 11 and has PDD-NOS. The social aspect has always been a struggle for him and although he's made great strides in speech, motor skills and other areas, I would say that's the biggest challenge for him right now. My heart breaks when he tells me that no one wants to play with him or that someone called him names. To me, he's the smartest, funniest kid and adults get him far better than other kids. I try my best to be a substitute but I can never be that as I'm his mom, not his peer. I just hope and pray that next school year that he will have at least just ONE friend. Ali, if you ever watch the show, The Middle, on ABC on Wednesday nights there's a great episode where the mother spends the whole show trying to find a friend for her youngest son (who's a lot like my son). It's bittersweet for moms like us but it's also a funny show. I love it. It helps to keep a sense of humor--otherwise I wouldn't be able to get out of bed.

God put Simon in your family for a reason Ali. You are raising him as He would, and letting others like myself see and learn from you. Thanks to you, Chris, Anna, and Simon for allowing us to be a part of your family. Hugs and prayers to you all. :-)

Ali, I encourage you to record it all - your story, his story, and the intersection of the two. One day, you'll be glad you did and so will Simon. Others who love him (for example - Anna, his future family) will too. It will document how much you love Simon in the difficult times and you will have it recorded that you always stick with him even in the hard times. As a child, you can't fathom how much your parents love and care for you just the way you are. But, when you become a parent yourself - everything clicks - you understand your parents love in the goods and the bad.

Your post reads as though your day was bittersweet...filled with all kinds of emotions...ones that tug and pull and snap on the heartstrings of a momma protecting her cub and teaching it to make it's own way in the world.
You are doing a great job Ali! Prayers and blessings to you and your family!
Have a j.o.y.-ful day!
Suz

When I first read this I thought it said 2 hour BIKE ride. Wow that would have been torture. I've learned that most of the time its harder on us moms than the kids. :)

Hugs and love to you and Simon :)

Your post really spoke to me. My son has Autism (Asperger's) and I just came from a field trip with him. As you said he had fun and I loved watching him, but seeing some of the interactions with peers broke my heart. Sometimes I forget that Autism is a part of our life, but then sometimes it's so obvious my heart breaks for him. Big ((hugs)0 to you both! tfs

Oh Ali! I feel your pain. It is so hard to witness your children in pain or other kids just being plain mean. My son is 12 and wants to quit school. Most kids play football in our community - - he loves soccer. He gets called a "grass fairy". He is kind and sweet and says hi to kids in the hall and they tell him to shut up!
It is heartbreaking! Our best times are when we spend time as a family. In the end.....family will be the thing that matters most!

Ali - as always, thank you for sharing - for telling your stories even when all the words aren't there. Your words and pictures are inspiring even when minimal.

I feel that you have said it all without having to say it. This post really touched me and I too can relate so well.

I think the social challenges are some of the hardest things we have to deal with as parents. It's so hard to see your child struggle during the challenges and harder yet to figure out what action to take, if any. Last year, in my daughter's second grade class, a group of kids began some pretty intense teasing and excluding of an autistic classmate. That group behavior is so shocking, and it can really get you down just realizing that it's there among 8 yo's. Luckily our teacher was awesome and handled the situation by talking to the class as a whole (w/o the boy present) about their behaviors and their effects. They owned up to the behaviors and apologized to the boy. But it's awful to imagine how these experiences hurt our children. Hugs to you both.

2 hour bus ride each way? MAN! That's taking one for the team!! :) (Love the cool bandana!)

your words are so touching and authentic-- truly the heart of a mother who fiercely loves her son. sending love and hugs. xo