To be content...

"To live content with small means; to seek
elegance rather than luxury; and refinement rather than fashion; to be
worthy, not respectable; and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think
quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to stars and birds, to
babes and sages, with open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all
bravely, await occasion, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual,
unbidden and unconscious grow up through the common. This is to be my
symphony." [ William Henry Channing ]

I am struggling a bit with living contently right now. A few too many variables. I seek stability. I can go along to get along for quite awhile...and then I get frustrated. I got frustrated last night. It all came spilling out. I even shed a tear (some of you will be so surprised at that one LOL). But today I feel a bit better. I can make it awhile longer without having everything settled in my "I want to control everything" ways.

One
of my main issues is this house. If we are going to move, then let's
move. Let me get into a new environment where I can feel like it is mine. Even now, with this house, since I know we are going to move at some point I have lost the feeling that it is ours.
This is one of those feelings that the realist in me says is silly, but
it is emotionally driving me crazy. I want to move into a house and
live there for years and years. Put down deep roots, both into the
ground and into our memories. I want a canvas to experiement with
inside and out. Will this ever happen?

Andrea Scher had a great post on her blog yesterday that relates to the "never hurry" line. (If you are reading this later on in time it was called "Blossom.")

And...I also giggled when I first read the "to talk gently" line
in the above quote. Those of you who have met me in person know I have
a pretty deep, often times raspy, voice. I also have a tendency to
speak loudly at times...especially when I get going on something. And I
say "dude" a bit too much - for some reason I just don't think that
qualifies as "gently" in the literal sense. I think, though, that in the figurative sense I can talk gently.

And here is a peek at the daffodils in the back of the house. Planting them in the hanging baskets was such a great idea Dad!