Messy excess + the desire to create.

I can totally relate. i'm facing the same "realizations" as you - excess. makes me feel chaotic, even when all around me appears calm and serene. thanks for sharing so i can realize i'm not alone! 0 tam in washington

Here's what I've discovered over the years... my "excessive" gene (e.g., the one that tells me that buying all this stuff is okay) kicks into full gear when I'm not feeling 100%. And by that I mean that it may be that I'm tired/been working too hard (in which case the "I deserve it" voice rings in my head), or it may be that I'm in a creative rut -- or I'm putting too much pressure on myself to be "perfect" creatively -- or it might be that I've been traveling (something you can well relate to!) and feel like the excessiveness is the way to reconnect with my world, my family, my home. What I have noticed is that the "excess" gene doesn't kick in when I am "in my element" -- be that creatively, or feeling good about life and myself in general. It's definitely there in proportionate response to where I'm at both physically and emotionally.
I'm still working on finding the answer to completely curb it -- but I do think that being good to myself, giving myself some slack, and just trying to understand the cycle helps...
Good luck to you -- I hate to say this, because I certainly don't want you to go through any kind of hardship or pain, but it is very comforting to know that there are others out there in the world -- other people whom I admire and respect tremendously -- that struggle with some of the same stuff I do.
Hang in there -- and keep remembering, it's all a process, not a race.

Ugh, I can relate to you...
I looked at my boy's room the other day and wondered
why he has so many toys. Just too many.
Guess what? It's me who bought most of them.
I clear my stuff quite often but when it comes to my boy's stuff, man, I am not so good.
I am the one who should be showing him less isn't bad at all.
So thanks Ali for reminding me of all this.

Wow, I can totally relate to you right now. That's exactly how I am feeling!! I am working on going through the excess today. Glad to know I am not alone.

If you figure out how to do it, let me know! I felt the exact same way when we came back from our 4-week trip. The excess makes me feel inproductive and overwhelmed. I crave a clutter-free space, yet I always buy too much. I spent all day yesterday throwing out old stuff. It's ridiculous, but it's so hard to let go of the old. And not buy too much. A constant struggle for me. I loved The Organizing Sourcebook (Kathy Waddill). It really gets to the underlying problems of clutter and excess -- which are different for all of us. I know that for me, the excess provides a sense of security (I won't run out of food, etc), especially since we've moved so much and we feel pretty rootless. But after a while, the excess begins to weigh me down and I just want to throw it all out. It's definitely a cycle... but I think it can be broken, if we just realize *why* we're in it.

I think it's an American thing--it's all around us--the way we are made to think we are to live. Probably being overseas makes you notice our excesses even more. American tend to need more, crave more. I join you in a quest to be more european and need less! LOL! :)

I don't normally post on your blog, but your blog entry describes exactly what I wrote about in my journal this morning, and is what I'm busy working on this afternoon. Merging and purging. Excessiveness crowds me in and I'm at the point that I just want to give everything away except the necessary essentials of life. For me, I think part of my excessive buying is that I want to always have enough on hand. So that I don't run out of the good things I love. I'm always afraid the good stuff will disappear and I'll be left without. Don't know where that comes from, but there ya have it! Enjoy your good stuff - in excess - and happy purging!

your post is in line with my thinking lately also. I am sitting here looking at my 3 garbage bag, 2 boxes overspilling pile to go to goodwill at I am still finding things to add to it. I bet I could have one credit card *paid-off* with the amount of stuff ready to go back out the door if I had never bought it in the first place. I too fight with these binge/purge cycles. I fantasize about living in a simple one room cottage and still having everything I need. And yet I shop at CostCo and buy everything in bulk because I hate running out of things! I am my own worst enemy!! LOL!

Oh my, you took the words right out of my mouth!!!! I actually am going to take your journal entry and paste it on my fridge!! (If you dont mind!!) Sometimes we feel we are nurturing ourselves and others around us with things, but too much clutters your mind and your emotions!!

Ali,
I can so relate to this...this happened to me three times when I traveled to Mexico on vacations and realized how little I needed to survive for 10 days (and how little others needed to survive in other countries) and it just HIT ME between the eyes and I swear I wanted to come home and empty my house down to the bare walls practically. It's still a feeling that doesn't leave me. But yet we fill and fill and fill. It's something we are born into and taught. How can we avoid repeating it?

amen, sister. we live in a 1940s ranch w/3 BRs and i feel like we are busting at the seems. yet for the family who first lived here, i'm sure they had tons of room. i'm reading the Little House on the Prairie books to my girls and I keep trying to emphasize to them how little those girls had. it is possible to live happily with less, isn't it?

WOW! I couldn't have said it better myself. It is comforting to see that someone else REALLY understands how I'm feeling! But seeing the other posts makes me wonder...Is there really a way out? a way to make the cycle stop? I'd love to know the answer. But meanwhile, thanks so much for sharing and helping others to feel we are not alone it our quest for what is important.

This is one of the many times of the year when I begin to feel this way. Right before school starts, right after Christmas and in the spring. It seems to be right after a lot of "purchasing" has been done. The toys! They are taking over the basement that we "had" to have. A good bit of inspiration, Ali, to scale back and let my children have a few, more meaningful toys. Thanks for the kick in the rear.

Wow, soo true Ali, and I like the way you put it. I need clutter free to breath, and purge on a regular basis. Just did both the kids' room last week and have a ton of stuff to give to Goodwill (funny thing is, sometimes they say I bring too much!!) I am glad I can get rid of stuff easily and am not a horder. And it feels sooooooooooo good when it's all clean, tidy and less. I am not ready to give up shopping of course (geez, now that would be something LOL), but I try to think hard if we really need it. ANd sometimes it's nice to buy something just because. And, then when I purge again, it gives me a pleasant and 'able to breathe' feeling again, and I love that. So, I shop and I purge, both makes me feel good LOL.

Ali, as we mature we start to listen to our hearts instead of our heads. Our hearts tell us to take just what we need...our heads give us all kinds of reasons why we need this "stuff". We are bombarded on a daily basis to keep up and have more because it will make us happier and better. We now know that this is not true and try to override our past habits.I have purged and purged and still can see that I need to remove more. I love the clean calm that I am achieving...I'm sure you do to. Just keep up the good work. Work from your heart.

Yep - can definately relate to this. I so need to purge the "stuff" that surrounds me. But be kind to Thomas - little boys do love him so :-)

Right on - purging is GOOD!
I returned from living in the Middle East for 3.5 years...between us all we had 3 regular-sized suitcases and 3 small backpacks. We lived with those things from September to June. In June, our shipment arrived from Dubai...
Yes, it was NICE to see my fav curtains or dishes or whatever, but you know, I was doing just fine without them all. Over half our container went straight to goodwill. Lesson learned.

it's SO true. YOU saw how little i wore on the road, right?
Damn.
I'm boxing up a bunch of stuff to give away this minute.
If i had my druthers....i'd like in a big room with a laptop and an iPod, some food, some beds, a bathtub and nothing more.
nice.

You hit the nail on the head once again, Ali. It is such a cycle and so hard to break. I cleaned out my scraproom (AGAIN!) this week and found so much excess. Then what did I do? Went to the scrap store to buy more. Why do I do that? Here's to using my stash and living with a 'less is more' attitude! :)
Brek

This quest for simplicity is a high priority in my life. This is my mantra... The greatest wealth is to live content with little. -Plato