Right now.
Tags:1. Filling the house with fresh flowers.
2. Excited that my Mom arrived yesterday and will be here with us for the next couple of weeks.
3. Watching Simon work-through his homework. Going through the routine of protest, silliness, more protest, and finally settling into concentration and then triumph & celebration at the end.
4. Reading voraciously. Started and finished Girl with a Pearl Earring
in a couple nights. Starting World Without End
tomorrow.
5. About half-way through creating a "reflections" book for the first few weeks/month with the new baby. Planning to share images from that project on Monday unless she comes before then. I am using some older pink Anna Griffin patterned papers that I have been holding on to for something special.
6. Our bags for the hospital are packed and ready to go with comfortable clothes and a couple sweet things for the baby.
7. Feeling calm about my choice to have a repeat c-section.
8. Hoping to finish up our taxes today. Would love to have that done and out the door before the baby comes.
9. Trying to remember what it's really like caring for a newborn. Reading up a bit on baby care and hoping it will all come back to me (or I will relearn). I would love to read some of your favorite tips for those first few weeks if you have them (I am all good with the "sleep when the baby sleeps" mantra).
10. Simply excited beyond measure to hold this new bundle and welcome her into our lives.
It's all pretty surreal right now.
I have been thinking a lot about the three of us and the family unit we have been for the past seven years. For many of those years I was pretty sure that Simon would be our one and only. Now, with another one coming so very soon, I have been reflecting a bunch and hugging Simon just that much tighter and longer.
I am a different person in lots of ways compared to who I was when Simon was born. Many, many things have impacted me tremendously over the past seven years. I am looking forward to meeting myself in this new role. I will be gentle with myself. I will seek help when I need it. I will savor and celebrate as many moments as I can.
Looking back and looking ahead and being in the right here, right now.
Things are about to change big time once again.


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446 comments
it will come back to as soon as they put her in your arms!
Best advice for me was homemade baby wipe recipe! i just love that they are homemade, easy, inexpensive. Less plastic bags so they are GREEN as well!
need:
1 quart plastic storage container with lid (#9 rubbermaid works great)
1 roll of good paper towels (cut it in half with a bread knife or I've heard many moms have their hubbies do it with tools in the garage!)
Baby soap and baby oil of your choice.
Mix 2 1/4 cup water with 2 tablespoons each of baby oil and wash. place one of the cut rolls in tupperware and pour the mixture over. Let sit for a few minutes to soak then flip it over.
The cardboard core will just pull out when its wet, and start the middle for you to pull from.
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What a sweet post. I love that you share so much and that your writing is so vivid. Enjoy your moments now. You'll really treasure that you chose to do that in the weeks to come.
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So exciting to read about where you are right now. I think the craziest thing with baby number two, for me anyway, was the total realization when she arrived that I didn't *know* her. My first was a boy, my second was a girl, and from the very first moment she was totally different. Anyway...the how to care for an infant comes back in a flash.
As far as advice, and in keeping with the topic of reading, I loved "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer." It was a life saver with my baby number two...because it is a bit harder to sleep when baby sleeps when there are other little people around who need things. It works so much better when baby sleeps when the rest of us sleep. :)
Thanks for sharing this special time with all your readers...it brings back such precious memories.
Aby
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Ali, no advice about the baby - it's been too long ago for me. But a book recommendation (like you'll have time to read in the immediate future - ha). The People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks is fabulous.
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You are and will continue to be a wonderful mom. As a mom of three, my one piece of advice is this: knowing that all babies are different, what worked for mine, given that life was already very busy.. I had a little lullaby that I hummed to her from the first day she was home - mostly when I wanted her to sleep, but when she was eating, when we were walking around, etc. Then during crazier times when there was a lot going on and she was getting fussy, I could go to a quiet part of the room, hum the lullaby and she would quickly relax and calm down (or maybe I would, but the results were the same- calmer baby and mom :) That's it - everything else is so dependent on mom, baby, family - you'll do great - enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!!
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Ohh the greatness in those last special days waiting... Best of luck to you. What I learned from my two sons ( 6 years apart, so I did forget inbetween )is that as soon as I thought I got I, understood them or found a nice routine - they changed! Lesson learned was - trust the baby to tell you what she need in her own special way - just open your heart and listen - to her, the baby!
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Such a magical time---right before birth. A prenatal yoga teacher once compared this stage between expecting your child and holding your child to that moment when a trapeze artist must let go of one bar before grabbing hold of the new one. Daneen Parry uses that same image to discuss fear of transformation in general :
"... in my knowing place I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar, and for some moment in time hurtle across space before I can grab onto the new bar. Each time I am filled with terror. It doesn't matter that in all my previous hurtles across the void of unknowing, I have always made it. Each time I am afraid I will miss, that I will be crushed on the unseen rocks in the bottomless chasm between the bars. But I do it anyway. Perhaps this is the essence of what the mystics call the faith experience. No guarantees, no net, no insurance policy, but you do it anyway because somehow, to keep hanging onto that old bar is no longer on the list of alternatives. And so for an eternity that can last a microsecond or a thousand lifetimes, I soar across the dark void of "the past is gone, the future is not yet here." It's called transition. I have come to believe that it is the only place that real change occurs."
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My best piece of advice: for the first month or so with another child in the house, follow the Get Three Things Done rule: if you can get three things done that aren't baby-related/Simon-related, you've accomplished enough for one day. And yes, brushing your teeth counts. Before you know it, you'll be getting 4 or 5 things done—or more—but give it plenty of time : ) Best wishes to you as you welcome the new baby into her home!
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I hope you enjoy that long quote as much as I did.
Now on the practical side...so many people ask what they can do--refer them to one good friend who can coordinate each of them bringing a meal (my good friends did this---and since I had a repeat c-section too, they waited till the baby was a week old, which I appreciated--and they kept their visits very short!).
There is such a tiny window for those newborn photos and when you are in lalala-land of newly in love with your baby, they don't seem too important. So arrange now for someone experienced to come take some photos of you and your babe. I wish I had!
It is a priceless time, but it can also be an overwhelming time. Two things helped me---remembering that it gets easier and the "next stage" always comes too soon, and secondly, that any one moment does not define you as a mother. I wish I had that mantra when my first was a baby and every cry seemed like failure to me.
Sorry for the long post---just so happy for you. Best wishes!
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Second c-section will be easier, just keep ahead on those meds and don't let the hubby sleep on the remote to call the nurse. Enjoy your blessings and congrats to sweet Simon on the future little sister. Changes for him too. It will all work out, reflect as you do so well. Love to you.
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Oh, the wonderful smell of a newborn! They are so sweet and soft.
My advice is to honour your new baby's personality. Having a second (or third) child can be pretty humbling because it can really throw into question everything you 'thought' you knew about parenting. What works for one doesn't always work for the other(s).
I already know you'll be doing the only other thing I would recommend - capture the big and little moments and record them in words and in photos. You won't have as much time as you once did, but you'll manage!
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Ali- I had a second boy when my first-born son (Kenny) was 4. And far from being something that "takes away" from the love I have to give to Kenny, little Bert has multiplied the love in his life tenfold! Bert and Kenny love each other so much (with of course some sibling fighting sprinkled in too) that my heart runs over. Now Kenny has my love, his dad's love, and this little brother's love in his life. And Bert of course, has all these people's love from the start! My one piece of "advice" from one c-sectioner to another: "try" to take it easy if possible! But you will do great. Thanks for all your wonderful ideas for ways for me to show my love to my kids.
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No advice for you here...'cause I know you'll be a fantastic, patient and loving MOM! It's also super nice that your Mom came to help...just enjoy and best wishes to you and your family! So excited for you!
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I have heard the Miracle Blanket is a must have for baby swaddling.
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So exciting. I just delievered my 3rd via c-section 3 months ago. My best advise - take the meds and stay as long as you can in the hospital. Use the nursery and help given. Enjoy the quiet time alone with the baby - because once you come home - life and craziness begins! It is so wonderful and worth it. I couldnt imagine life with kids - especially not 3- and now I cant imagine my life without them. Best wishes!
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My sister just had a baby girl and I had the opportunity to help her for a whole week. The things I can tell you are...rest, recover, rejoice, enjoy, breathe, and take every moment in stride. Remember to put the baby down every now and then so she can stretch and not keep her in a snugglie every moment of every day. Give her to Chris so you can spend some 1 on 1 time with Simon and so Chris can bond with Miss A. Cherish every moment because they don't stay little for long. Good luck and prayers being sent your way.
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Ali,
The best advice that I could give is another book for you but it is a quick read and has made a HUGE difference in my life. It is a very natural approach to parenting and introducing a baby into your life. It's called Secrets of the Baby Whisper: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with your baby. Amazing. Easy, sensible, ensures that your baby from an early age comforts herself to sleep and could be cared for by anyone, even if you are breastfeeding. I have to say, I used this approach with both of my girls and it made my life much easier than I think it would have had I not read this book. Best wishes to all of y ou and I can't wait to hear the news.
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I had a boy 4 years after having a girl. It all comes back to you but in a different way. I was able to make decisions quicker (is he sick, etc) but everything else still felt so new! It's a great feeling.
I did not push the big sister help mom for all the baby stuff. When people asked her if she was a big helper I would chime in and say "Yes she is a BIG helper! She is very PATIENT when I am feeding the baby or putting him to sleep." That totally counts in my book and it was a tremendous help for me and encouragement for her to hear it.
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My advice is acctualy about the soon to be big brother. Every kid feels jealous of a new baby brother or sister, some more, some less. Be sure to have some time alone with Simon everyday, to play, or watch a movie, or just talk and be together. If you help him with his homework, try to keep doing that, so he doesn't feel like the baby is "stealing" you! The last thing is something a friend told me, and I think it makes sense: when you arrive home from the hospital, let you husband enter the house holding the baby, not you, so you can give the big brother a big hug when you come in. Another thing you can do is bring a little something for Simon, a small toy or book, and tell him it's a gift from his baby sister! A great ice breaker, right? You will love having a girl and a boy! All the best!
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What an inspiring post and so glad you are enjoying this time of your life!
Two tips:
1. Never wake a sleeping baby. Sounds easy, but then someone says, "well, let's wake her now, so we can feed her or so that we can go out later and she'll sleep, etc., etc., etc." Ignore them. Never wake a sleeping baby.
2. When the baby is crying, remember there's usually only five possible causes: hunger, pain (gas, diaper rash, etc.), wet bottom, tired or bored. Try to solve each one in turn, and you can end the crying. Sounds easy, but when sleep deprivation sets in, it's nice to have the list hand to review. LOL!
Rinda
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