Summer Voices | Cathy Zielske
We’re on summer holiday and we’ve invited some of our friends to share their voices and projects here over the next 2 weeks. Say hello toCathy Zielske:
Time is a bullet train.
My daughter Aidan starts her senior year of high school in just over a month. Tack on one more year and she’s off to a yet-to-be-selected college, but one that we’re pretty sure isn’t going to be a hop, skip and a jump from our front door.
Even though there are at minimum 365 days that must pass between now and that time, I find myself mentally preparing for our nest to be lighter by one remarkable body.
And by ‘mentally preparing’, I actually mean, ‘putting it in the farthest corner of my disbelieving mind.’ You see when I agreed to go off birth control back in 1995 I had precisely zero knowledge of exactly what I was signing on for. I wasn’t one of those girls who daydreamed what it would be like to grow up, get married and become a mama. In fact, when I met my husband Dan, one of the first things I needed to get on the table was my lack of desire for children.
It had never even crossed my mind that I’d procreate. During my early teens I babysat for some singularly awful kids and that pretty much sealed the deal: parenting was not something that would ever show up on my resume of life.
But a funny thing happened when I turned 29. I started noticing babies. Everywhere I looked, there they were. And far from the howling, smelly, horrible little poop balls I’d imagined, they were actually—much to my surprise and shock—kind of cute.
Of course, that was 17 years ago—an entire lifetime if you’re my daughter—and what I’m looking at now is, just like embarking on the parenthood journey, an entirely new and foreign landscape to navigate. This singular creature whose care and nurture has been in my charge is preparing to move on and out. Now more than ever, grace and wisdom and love are needed to help her move confidently through this transition.
That is my most important task at hand.
Life does change in a blink. That isn’t some cliché. It seems like just yesterday, when I would tip toe around in the early morning hours to make sure she slept just a little longer so I could snag a cup of coffee in peace and quite before the day commenced. Today, I could play my 13-year-old son’s drum set and neither she nor he would likely even stir.
It’s things like this that mark the time. Things like realizing they don’t need you to help them decide what to wear anymore. Things like realizing they now stay up later than you do. Things like seeing them develop their own ideas and opinions. Things like realizing they are not simply an extension of you.
As a memory keeper—a scrapbooker who’s out and proud of it—I’m more grateful than ever to have documented parts of her life—of my life—with this beautiful, amazing, surprising and delightful young woman.
I have a lot of friends who would say to me over the years, “I don’t know how you find the time for that sort of thing,” and I hear them. I really do.
I guess it’s just been one of my ways to mark the time.
I love you, baby girl. Here’s to another remarkable year in the life.
ABOUT CATHY | Cathy Zielske is a graphic designer by trade who stumbled into the scrapbook industry in 2001 decided to stay for a while. An author of the Clean & Simple Scrapbookbook series, she brings her design savvy to scrapbookers through online classes and her Designer Digitals collection. She blogs at cathyzielske.com. Find her on Twitter and Facebook . She once had Ali at her house where they discovered a petrified chicken nugget in her basement. It has since become the stuff of legend.
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41 comments
Amazing pictures in this post . . . all of them. And great honest writing.
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Crying happy tears for you. Lovely post, so sweet and bittersweet. I have one in his "5th" year of college who moved away 2 years ago and has had lots of ups and downs, with steady progress - so don't worry Mama, you will still be needed, just differently! I have a wonderful 15 year old who's future is less sure based on a disability, so posts like this tug my heart and soul in ways words can't describe. One thing I can say though is I am getting those words and snippets and photos down, imperfectly, in my scrapbooks. And I thank you for helping me make that happen over the years.
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I too am a scrapbooker and have friends constantly comment about how they don't have the time etc. I force myself to make time because when I see my kids (14,21,25) take out a scrapbook and ask questions and smile and laugh, it was so worth every minute!
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Every single one. : )
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OH WOW Cathy I hear ya loud and CLEAR. I have raised three, and my baby (only daughter) just finished her first year of college AND lived their her first year. It IS extremly hard to let them go. But I gotta say thank you for the giggles...I was different as I always felt like that is just what I would do is have babies...I always babysit, when I did grow up (LOL) and was going to have my first child I was mezmorized by the pregnancy I loved to be pregnant, I loved to feel that baby move, and was pretty darn lucky to have three healthy kids. Now with that said way back when I babysit allot of them were "little poopballs" (I loved that) so true:) And yes even my own little kiddo's were sometimes little poopballs. BUT just like you I had NO idea what I was in for. And before I could blink a eye my baby was off to college and now already finished her first year. Sighhhhhhhhhh...I don't know where the time goes. And a scrapbooker myself I am always taking pics and get the "Mom are you kidding me you want a picture of that:) YEP I do...and I know some day they will ALL appreciate all those pictures. Thanks for this post...enjoyed ALLOT, and thanks for the giggles.
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Cathy,
This is exactly how I feel - except I did grow up and dream of being a wife and mother. I still had no idea what it had in store for me. My daughter leaves for college in 22 days. The part I never anticipated this time in my life. I am guessing that I will cry all the way home from dropping her off at college as I did when I dropped her off at Kindergarten.
I've been thinking about all the things that I no longer have to do for her and how she has grown and now has opinions of her own. I think it is time to create a scrapbook page.
Thanks for expressing everything that I was feeling.
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You're welcome. : ) It's such a tender time, too.
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Insightful post. My daughter is 15 and I have renewed my efforts to record these special mother/ daughter moments in the album entitled "A girl of my own". It's just too precious and too fleeting.
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Lovely to see you here Cathy. Really appreciate reading your lovely words, thanks for sharing your experiences and thoughts so honestly. One of the things l love about reading the blogs l follow (which includes yours and Ali's) is that they are filled with reminders to cherish everyday and live in the moment.
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Oh, Cathy! I teared up when I read your post. I, too, am about to send my baby Kayla to college next year. She just turned 17, and I'm like, "what happened?" It seems just like it was yesterday that the familiar "thwat" I'd hear five minutes after changing her diaper meant I'd need another diaper. And, whatever did we do with that first tooth?
The speed of life makes me glad I scrapbooked girlie-girl's early years. I did all of that with help from you and Ali.
Thanks for sharing...and yes, Aidan is a lovely woman. And so are you.
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oh my mercy, what a beautiful young woman...inside and out as evidenced by your stories over the years...and what a beautifully written piece! thanks for sharing another piece of you!
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Marking the time vs finding the time... I'll be quoting that...Beautifully written piece. I entered parenthood behind schedule, but am now so grateful for the "extra" years I have with them at home.
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YAY, so thrilled to see Cathy here! I've been a fan of hers for, um, decades? Like she says, time certainly does fly by. Always love reading her thoughts on life (since we can all relate) and this is no exception.
Thank you!
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Very well said indeed! Lovely young lady and equally lovely Mom.
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