Do You See What I See
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Aaron snapped this photo of me last weekend as we were celebrating my friend Todd's 40th Birthday (). I've known Todd since my very first week at college - I was 17 which means we've been friends now for more than 20 years. He's part of a group of friends from college who all live here in town. He gives good hugs and laughs easily - always has.
As I looked at this photo, the phrase that kept popping into my head was Do You See What I See? And then I started thinking about photos of ourselves and why we like or don't like them and all the underlying layers of stories that can go along at any point in time about who we are and how we got to right now.
Here's what I "see" when looking at this photo:
I see a woman approaching 40, with all the wounds and gathered strength from experiences that go along with midlife.
I see a woman genuinely laughing and enjoying being in the company of good friends. She loved that it lasted until the wee hours of the morning and included dancing.
I see a woman who watched her new love and her old love stand together at this party in a long conversation about homes and kids and politics.
I see a woman who loves wearing stripes and who debated about the white jeans but was happy with that choice in the end.
I see a woman struggling to figure it all out and struggling to remember that she doesn't have to have it all figured out.
I see a woman who loves and lives her work, sometimes to the determent of those around her because it can be tough to turn off.
I see a woman who often spends a crazy amount of time in her own head - for better or worse.
I see a woman with a 13-year-old son and a 6-year-old-daughter who sometimes questions where the time has gone and how did I get to right now?
I see a woman who misses some pieces of the last chapter of her life but who also can't imagine this new chapter without the experiences of the last one.
I see a woman who is, no matter what, thankful for the combination of experiences that have brought her to where she exists today.
After writing these up I asked Aaron what he saw when looking at this photo. His responses were very typical Aaron - funny and sarcastic and literal. I like the opportunity to bring his voice into my stories. Here's what he saw:
He sees that the guy with the tucked in shirt might make me laugh but the guy with his shirt untucked is the one that gets to put his arm around me.
He sees that the only reason I'm not holding a drink is because I drank all mine already.
He sees that I'm near the exit sign, which could potentially mean I want an easy getaway if I start to panic (back story: he's been with me on more than a few occasions - concerts and airplanes and such - where I've needed anti-anxiety medication to alleviate my issues with crowds/enclosed spaces/lack of control).
He sees that I'm not wearing my glasses, which must be a sign of "something" and that come on, it's a 40-year-old birthday party and at least half these people should probably be wearing glasses.
When he first messaged these back to me I laughed out loud. I love that he's a truth teller and witty and I love that his response was not the same as mine in terms of getting all reflective and serious. It's one of the things I like about him, that he brings a levity to the table for me that I sometimes forget to bring for myself.
Photos are powerful story sparks. There is so much below the surface that relates to who we are and the ways we see ourselves. Take a look through your own collection of photos and pick one and answer the question, "Do you see what I see?" Begin each of your statements with the same repeated phrase, "I see..."
This month's Story Subscription theme is Click. We're telling stories of our relationship to photographs and photography and supporting each other along the way. All Story Subscriptions include education and additional inspiration to help encourage you to tell more of the stories of your life.
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50 comments
Powerful post Ali! I love the perspectives, and gives a lot of food for thought.
Replies to stkong7
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I am crying. Your words are so powerful and soul-stirring. I feel as if they were my own sometimes (but you write them and put them out on the internet for me! LOL) Thank you. --Desiree
Replies to desilei
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Gosh, love this. I've been so in my head and occupied lately. Just something nice to read. It's funny how I can relate to so much of what you say as far as your own journey, then I had to crack up at Aaron because it sounds like my boyfriend. I always have to remind myself, not everybody gets how 'memory keepers' think, and he often adds humor to those situations for me as well. Glad to see you are enjoying the ride, and even if not always enjoying, at least your on it!
Replies to papergoddess
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I see a woman with pure joy on her face; living in the moment and comfortable in her skin. It makes me smile too!
Replies to KarenC
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I see your word for the year: GIVE.
Giving your attention to those around you.
Giving yourself to the conversation by leaning into it.
Giving your physical space to a friend through physical contact.
Giving your joy through genuine laughter.
Giving yourself the time and space to enjoy life and just BE.
Magical.
Replies to barefootscrapbooker
I love this. A great response/comment.
Thank you :)
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Ali - This is just so awesome. I love getting another perspective.
Replies to chp97
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This picture made me smile as soon as I saw it. Happy Birthday Todd! I love this post and I think I love this Aaron guy for you!
Replies to aleciaangell
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I love this post! I love the photo too. Very cool how you're in focus and the others are a blur. It makes me think that the world can be spinning all around, but Aaron only has eyes for you. :)
Replies to familybees
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I've missed your posts. The "new" format with having to sign in specifically for your site turned me off, but, as often happens, you've sucked me in with your truthfulness and humanity.
We recently took a trip to Hawai'i and your comment about anti-anxiety meds really hit home for me as I had a panic attack on the plane (and another one in a lava tube.) To know that a successful woman like you might have had similar feelings/experiences gives me comfort and the strength to seek the help I probably need. Thanks so much for always being real and sharing so much about yourself! And now that I've actually read a post (the first one in a long time) I hope to be back again soon. Thanks again for all the ways you support women! I appreciate that!
Replies to meredeEnA
Just wanted to say thank you for commenting :). Seeking help is totally worth it. I do a combination of of meditation/relaxation techniques as well as have a prescription on hand if I need it (airplanes are where I generally need it the most). I don't think you could get me to go in a lava tube - no caves for enclosed spaces underground for me.
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one of y fav posts :)
Replies to ccclsherry2
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I see happiness. Pure happiness. I also see a cheeky man with his arm around you, looking directly at the photographer (who I assumed was Aaron when I saw it on instagram)! I love that Aaron captured this moment & shared it - to me, it shows such security.
Replies to katevdp
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Awesome Ali, thanks for sharing. I see a woman having a genuinely awesome time!
Thanks to you I've been embracing and loving imperfect photos lately. They don't have to mean anything to anyone else but often I see things in the photos that I just love so I print them and record them. #imperfectandawesome
Replies to Bellaa75
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Wow, that brought a tear to my eye. Such introspection. I so get it. I am incredibly introspective and love all your thoughts. My husband is incredibly laid back and witty. It can drive me CRAZY but also know it so balances me. What a moment in time for you. You've been through so much which makes that moment that much better. You are amazing!
Replies to Debg
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Isn't one of the upcoming themes for the story kits black and white? I can totally see this turning into a layout for that, if not before then. Loved the honesty and that it included perspectives other than your own.
Replies to ckcollins15
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I think Aaron took a great picture. And focused in on the person he loves.
Replies to Tjones45
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Love this post, Ali. It's what we all hope for....a partner who truly sees us as we are, wholly, good and bad and knows just what makes us tick, how to comfort...knows our love languages. I've never had that kind of partner but one day I hope to. In the meantime, I know God fits that description. :)
Replies to wyldefleurs
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Beautiful post Ali. I see an evolved independent modern woman who's a pretty great human being too. I also see a woman who's an inspiration to many, and whether or not she realizes, a mentor to a few of us too. Your authenticity and candor are a breath of fresh air and I relate with you on so many levels. Wishing the best for you in life, and sending much love your way Ali. <3
Replies to nicholemoses
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I see a woman who is not only having fun but IS fun!! You look very happy and relaxed. And you are rocking the white jeans! xoxo
Replies to tinka323
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When I look at this photo, I see a woman who is complete and utter beauty and integrity.
And a woman who gives me 100 percent permission to be the same.
Thank you.
Replies to Jodiemareelee_hotmail_com
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I see that Aaron focused the camera on you and ONLY you
Jo xxx
Replies to jojosowerby
I noticed that too. Awesome pic! :D
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