One Little Word® 2019 | The Reading Of The Words

Hi Ali. My word for this year is CARE. In September my daughter got married and it was a wonderful day however how I even functioned that day I have no idea. I along with my sister had been taking care of our father for four years. He passed away three weeks after attending his most beloved first grand daughters wedding and even though he was in so much pain, he smiled, he cried, he stayed right to the end, My father had bone cancer in ten areas, endured many procedures, four operations, continuous chemo when his weakened body allowed. Through it all he was so brave and not once did he complain even when I could see him grimace in pain and his passing was a painful one not peaceful. My sister and I were the only ones with him as he passed away and I think it was so fitting as we were his daughters, his caretakers, his "daddy's girls" . I miss him so much my heart is broken. I'm crying writing this. I truly believe he hung on to see my daughter his first born grand child get married as there was a very special connection there and I can't believe he went through what he did to attend as it was six hours away in cottage country. Love. So why CARE? At times for no reason and often with bad timing thoughts of my father pop into my head. The tears start to flow and all of a sudden I thought " you really need to do something to take care of yourself now" maybe it was my dad speaking to me or me just realizing now after all these months that I have been so focused on my father for four years that I have been in a constant state of alertness ready to spring into action with the next crisis or just the hourly day to day fatigue of trying to stay so positive as I see my dad shrinking before my eyes. I had taken CARE of my father but had not taken CARE of myself. I ate poorly slept little and always felt stressed and sad so now I need to stop being a caretaker and take care of me. Mind body and soul. I know it will be a challenge as I think of my dad everyday and still feel such sorrow but somehow I have to pull myself together. I have not done anything yet with my word and don't feel creative at all but perhaps writing as I see here is what I need to do obviously. I should probably delete this message but this is my truth and my word is CARE. Thank you for listening💔

My one little word is Heal. I see healthy here and I noticed heal in previous years. There truly is an amazing selection of awesome words to live by!