Support.
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Attended my first parent support group meeting last night. It was good. Good to just connect with other parents in a "real-life" setting. Hear their stories. Share Simon's. Facilitated by a psychologist, we talked a lot about transitions. Man, we sure are in the middle of those around here. Almost every piece in the puzzle of our lives right now is in some sort of transition. Moving at some point. Chris and his career. Simon will be in a new school in the fall. Implementing more structure within our daily lives. Really implementing the GF/CF diet (it really is an all or nothing thing...and we need to get it to the all stage). Me in and out with travel and projects on my mind.
I can easily see why my head feels a bit on the foggy side.
It was nice to hear the others in the group speak to their own life transitions, and how they have helped their children prepare and deal with those events as best as possible. Brings it all into perspective in so many ways.
In the book I am still finishing up on simplicity, the author speaks to our addiction to chaos. Transitions seem to be inherently chaotic. Our addiction to having a million things to do. When we slow down we then want more. When we are going a million miles an hour all we may want to do is drop it all. Chaos is what we know. All those things rattling around in my head. Remember this. Take care of that. Should be doing this. But would I really be satisfied doing less? Or would I long for the pace of stess?
So going was good. I will go again. As we were leaving we were given the card pictured above. I have gotten those looks before. The look like, why can't you control your child when he is screaming (even in joy). It always feels like judgement, even if it is simply a curious glance. I usually just smile and say something such as, "it is hard to be 3" and then just be on our way or go back to dealing with the situation at hand. These cards made me laugh. Just knowing they are in my wallet makes me feel a little stronger.
On another note:Probably not many of you know that I used cloth diapers for a time with Simon. Actaully I was totally into cloth diapers for awhile there, right before scrapbooking entered and the craziness began. I liked using cloth diapers. I still think they are pretty darn cool. There was talk about potty training in the group last night - something that is low on our priority list with Simon (but that would be really nice) - and the suggestion to use cloth as a method of potty training. I am going to go back again! At least for when he is at home and at night. Maybe the wetness will be a bit of incentive to get him on the toilet. These are the ones I am looking at: Nikky All-Night Pants.
And my favorite news of the day: Simon sang the ABC song all by himself today. Twice. It was so, so cool. Missed a few letters here and there, but sang the ending. I have never heard him go through something that is so long before. Super fantastic.
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39 comments
Ali - so happy for you for gaining support from that parents group. Good for you!
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Ali, That's really great to hear. I think the cloth diapers will work, it works with Serene.It's hard, but what about being a mother isn't. I wish you happiness.
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Yeah SIMON!!! ABC's and much more to come, you'll see. I have a friend who's sister has Autism and I worked with many people with Autism...time and patience and understanding- those are the 'keys' to getting in thier doors.
I understand your 'transitions' and much needed support group for all of you...rock on with all of it girl! Love the card, it says it all.
peace out,
Peg
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Congrats on the alphabet. Baby steps...
I definately believe we crave chaos in our lives. Wisdom is knowing when to step away.
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I can just hear Simon singing in my head! my little guy just did this last week too--such a happy little tune it was.
Glad to hear you've got a support group too.
I hope it will be helpful and continue to give you strength!
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So glad to hear that you and Chris are finding the support you need. Love the cards. Empowering.
Chaos is addicting, but being *at peace* can be addicting too. Yoga - particularly the meditation and breathing components - has been invaluable for me in discovering how to quiet all the internal demands I place on myself. Learning to appreciate the moment. Being present. I struggle, still, but the enjoying the *peace* from quieting my mind has become integral to being able to successfully balance the many roles we all juggle. FWIW
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I'm glad that you are getting support for this stuff. I love the cards. I feel that way sometimes and I don't even have an autistic child. The are just kids for goodness sake.
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That card is great. Those people who judge will rightfully feel about an inch big when they read that.
Stick with it Ali, you're doing a GREAT job.
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We attend lots of our DS support groups functions. It's just so nice to have a group that just understands without explaination - whos been there. And you glean such knowledge from those who've been there!
Have a great night and tomorrow, Ali! :)
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Very VERY "awesome!" (*elbows out, two thumbs up*) of Simon to sing the ABC song! That rocks!!
(Don't sweat the potty training too much...it will happen. Eventually. Believe you me, I know. :P)
And I do think we crave chaos to an extent. However, I do believe you can learn to live without a few of those transitions and high-stress days (and love it :D).
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That's fantastic Ali!
Seems like you guys are going in the right direction. Very happy for you!
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The card is a great reminder for anyone with young children. They all try so hard, whether they are trying their independance or simply getting distracted from what were supposed to be doing. This something I need to remember when I start get frustrated with my 3 1/2 y.o. daughter. Thanks
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As I read your entries, Ali, it strikes me how...stable you are, through it all. So strong yet so aware of your weaknesses.
I think that's why so many people find your so real and so interesting.
A real person that people can relate to.
And so dog-gone talented to boot! :)
t.
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A-
Robert who is 4.5 misses letters too...remember it's part of their fun! I know he knows them and I think he skips to see if we notice. He does the same with numbers, but then when he doesn't think we are around he does it perfectly. As for the potty training....I've never met a 1st grader still in diapers...relax and it will happen (when you aren't looking for something things happen)
I think I need that chaos book...LOL or crying (have to do one or the other)
deb
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you rock ali!
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you are a brave woman. (cloth diapers)
mckenna is getting potty trained now too.
maybe i need a stinking support group!
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Ali, i'm a mother of 4 and i still don't know how to potty train! how is that possible? YAY for Simon and YAY for you and Chris. Support groups are wonderful. i'm so glad that i have my blogging sistas on a daily basis!
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Love to hear the little dudes sing. Something about a little voice lifted in melody and rhythm is the BEST thing.
Another cloth diaper fan here. Loved the whole experience and actually missed it a little when it was all over. My daycare teacher could not cope with the potty training in cloth so we switched to pull ups at that point. Not a problem for us but going back to cloth might help Simon--or not. You never know, huh? Still gotta love 'em.
Keep singing, Dude!
Melissa
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Yay Simon!
Good luck with the potty training. (I have to thank school since they managed to get both boys trained.)
Good luck with everything.
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I have to tell you that my son didn't manage to get potty trained until he was 3 and a half, okay maybe, a mointh or two past that! And, he had no interest in using the potty - which is an important part of potty training! I had a potty chair in the living room, I tried all the tactics in the books. I was desperate, because I was about to have a baby- a single mom with two in diapers!!! Noooooooo! So this is what I did, and I know you are changing Simon's diet so maybe something else would work- but I bought a gumball machine and a really big fishbowl-type vase. I hit the dollar store where everything is really a dollar and loaded up on little figures and small junky toys which I put into the fishbowl. pennies for gumballs for #1, toys for #2. At first the pennies were distributed for just trying... and then limited to when he succeeded. In two weeks, he was potty trained. All those months of all the other ways I tried and simple bribes (LOL!) did the trick. (They have gumball machines that distribute peanuts, and other types of candy as well.) Now, I wouldn't typically use bribes as a parenting tactic, but it worked really well!!!
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