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Ali Edwards Design Inc.
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Tender.

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Ever have one of those days where you just feel a little too tender? Overly sensitive? Just waiting for someone to take you over the edge into a wave of tears?


I felt like that this morning.


It started off with six or seven packages that needed to go to the post office. One of the benefits of having Simon in school is that normally I could do it by myself - not put him through the misery of being in a place that is just different. But I needed to go, it needed to be done. And so we went. And the results were not pretty. In fact, it was horrible.


Piercing screams came directly from my child. He did not want to be confined. He did not want to stand next to me while the packages were weighed and paid for - he wanted to run - and then he wanted to lay on the middle of the cold floor where other post office go-ers could walk around him. And so he screamed. Not the kind of loud crying that you sometimes hear, but full on ear piercing screams that jar you into the present moment like nothing else.


And I am calm. And I am cool. I focus on the woman weighing my packages and focus on using a calming voice while holding Simon tight (but not too tight) in my arms. The challenge is that he is getting so big. And so strong. It is much more difficult to hold him now. I know people are staring. I know what they are thinking. And they continue to stare and then to whisper and nod to one another in thanksgiving when we finally exit.


And I feel tender.


We walk out to the car and he hugs me as I carry him. '"Love you" is what he says. I buckle him in and take a deep breath.


We have two more stops on our errand list. I am able to get him into the shopping cart basket at Micheal's - he has an OJ so that helps keep him occupied as I pick up some paint brushes and page protectors. I have a coffee. We exit without any major commotion and walk down to the grocery store.


While removing him from one cart and putting him into to another I spill the rest of my coffee right inside the store. Because I did not get him into the second cart quick enough he is off running towards the watermelons, oblivious to the coffee on the floor and the look in my eyes. I alert one of the checkers to the spilled coffee, gather Simon up into the cart, and continue on - walking by the flower section and wishing for tulips.


And I feel even more tender. And I take another deep breath.


We get what we need: soy pudding, vegan cheese, tostada shells, salsa, chicken nuggets & fish sticks without any allergens = $38. He stays in the cart. I pay the bill. He gets an elephant sticker & a gorilla sticker from the checker. We walk out to the car. I buckle him in. I take a deep breath.


We drive home in silence. It is almost always silent in the car.


And I feel tender.

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