Truth Be Told
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The other day Simon came home from school, walked into the house, and told me "My star was in yellow today."
His school uses a star program. Essentially green means no problems, yellow means something came up/not following the rules, and red is when you get in big trouble. Simon is no stranger to yellow stars, not the majority by any means, but they definitely popped up from time to time throughout kindergarten.
"Uh oh. What happened buddy?" I asked.
"I was sneaky." he said and proceeded to tell me about how he was caught sneaking out to recess before the kids were dismissed as a group from lunch.
I've never heard him use the word "sneaky" before and it was hard not to giggle a bit as the word crossed his lips.
It wasn't that long ago that asking him what had happened each day at school resulted in zero response. In his case it was more of a lack of back + forth communication ability then avoiding the question.
These days when he comes home one of the first things we do together (after the shoes come off and the coat gets hung up) is to open his communication notebook and see what the aides have written about his day. They include activities he participated in, things he struggled with, and what he is working on in the classroom (behaviorally and academically). This is a vital part of helping us understand what's happening at school and has become a way for Simon and I to share together how things went over the course of the day.
On this particular day one of the things I was most thankful for was him simply telling me what had happened even before I read it in the notebook. He was truthful and forthright and he wanted to share even when he had gotten into trouble.
I am sure there will be challenging days ahead (obviously, as there always are), but on this day there was a good solid line of communication happening. I love progress. I celebrate those little (and big) moments.
After he revealed that his star was in yellow we chatted a bit about being sneaky and following the rules. He agreed that he wanted to follow the rules and keep his star in green.
So far, so good.
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76 comments
we have an Apple Tree in Hannah's room :)
She works hard at staying on top.
Simon is a good little kid!
yellow stars are "oops" stars...that's ok :)
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What a wonderful story!! Simon is growing by leaps and bounds.........
Keep the communication flowing:) My 12 year old and I discuss his day at school every single day ----
Your post makes my heart warm
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I love this story - what an amazing little person - way to go Simon!!! Ali, thanks for a big smile on my face today.
I have a student in my class that we are working on getting to initiate conversation - this reminds me that patience and persistance pay off and they will do it in their time, not always ours. You are an inspiration.
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Hooray for progress, and kudos to Simon for wanting to be truthful! Love the idea of a communication notebook and sharing the day right when he gets home. :)
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Oh, what a wonderful story! I'm so glad Simon is communicating so well. My son is autistic also, and he's starting to tell me things that happen at school. It amazes and thrills me, every single word of it. It's just huge!
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Great progress for you all!! Happy to hear it. We are still have problems getting out of Brody how is day went - but working hard at it. We review the book daily, and Brody is typically not having good days yet (still getting accustomed to school and the change)
Nicky
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Hooray for strong lines of communication. What a great after school conversation/connection. Thanks for sharing--and thanks for a great blog! I enjoy reading your posts.
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"Sneaky", I love it! What a great story! Thanks for sharing with us.
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I work in a behavior modification program and we use communication books with our students on a daily basis. It is an awesome way to keep everyone informed about what is going on. We have even used this with our "wild child" Cassie (who suffers from ADHD) when she was in grade school.
Thanks for sharing with us.
Donnelly
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Truly what beautiful moments those are - I worked in behavior modification for years - found it a GREAT tool - so glad it works for you all too!
thanks for sharing it all - Ellie
http://mother2daughter.wordpress.com/
http://jibaro6543.blogspot.com/
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What a cute story and adorable little boy! I wish you the best of luck keeping the lines of communication open! I have 3 teenage boys and every day I ask about school, and have for the last 12 years (oldest one is a senior) and all I ever get is "it was ok." UGH
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Love this story! Love progress! My son is 4 and also has autism. I'm looking forward to the day when he can tell me something like this--I only get yes/no answers to my questions about preschool right now. wonderful photo!
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his more outgoing nature is coming out in his photos too. Great pic reflecting true joy!
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YOU KNOW WHAT??????
MY STAR WAS IN YELLOW TODAY TOO.... SOMETIMES WE ALL HAVE TO BE A LITTLE YELLOW --
IT MAKES THE GREEN DAYS BETTER!
KUDOS FOR SIMON... WE SHOULD ALL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE OF HOW GREEN AND YELLOW "FEEL".......
AND REMEMBER, IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF KERMIT THE FROG,
"IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN".......
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Sometimes it is good to get on yellow! Simon looks great and I am so glad that you have time to spend each day talking about what happened at school each day.
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There is truly nothing more precious than the quiet times shared between Mother and Son!
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Oh my goosh! It just hit me! I am an Aide in an Autism DT Teeach program. The children that we have are on the lower spectrum. We do write daily reports and as an aide I find them a pain in the toosh! It really never occured to me that they are extremely helpful to the parents. I feel so bad for my feeling about he daily reports and will now fill them as if it was my child and I was only wanting to know how his day went and he has no way of communicating with me the events of his day. I enjoy your blog with both your crafty ideas and your stories of a parent of an Autistic child.
Kristi
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my youngest had to call me last week from the principals office to tell me she called a boy a "sonofabitch" one word ok? on the playground. I did the mom thing about how dissapointed I was and I expected better then got off the phone, I LOL'd and emailed my sister! sonofa! wonder what that kid DID!!!
Sure its not really funny but she is #5, we have to laugh. And btw, she is 6.
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being "sneaky" is a good developmental milestone. I love that Simon shared it with you!
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I have no experience with autism. But I religiously read your blog everyday and usually do not comment as there are so many and it seems you would feel obligated to read each one. But today it really hit me how ordinary you make everyday life seem for Simon. Both my children are grown, one left in college and I wish I would have captured their everyday life as you are doing. Your blog inspired me to start my own. In the 14 hours crazy days I put in at work, I now have come to believe that its OKAY, and we can make everyday life better. While I believe you have challanges with Simon that I will never know, I admire that you have turned it into something positive. What you do everyday is very special and inspiring.
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