Truth Be Told
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The other day Simon came home from school, walked into the house, and told me "My star was in yellow today."
His school uses a star program. Essentially green means no problems, yellow means something came up/not following the rules, and red is when you get in big trouble. Simon is no stranger to yellow stars, not the majority by any means, but they definitely popped up from time to time throughout kindergarten.
"Uh oh. What happened buddy?" I asked.
"I was sneaky." he said and proceeded to tell me about how he was caught sneaking out to recess before the kids were dismissed as a group from lunch.
I've never heard him use the word "sneaky" before and it was hard not to giggle a bit as the word crossed his lips.
It wasn't that long ago that asking him what had happened each day at school resulted in zero response. In his case it was more of a lack of back + forth communication ability then avoiding the question.
These days when he comes home one of the first things we do together (after the shoes come off and the coat gets hung up) is to open his communication notebook and see what the aides have written about his day. They include activities he participated in, things he struggled with, and what he is working on in the classroom (behaviorally and academically). This is a vital part of helping us understand what's happening at school and has become a way for Simon and I to share together how things went over the course of the day.
On this particular day one of the things I was most thankful for was him simply telling me what had happened even before I read it in the notebook. He was truthful and forthright and he wanted to share even when he had gotten into trouble.
I am sure there will be challenging days ahead (obviously, as there always are), but on this day there was a good solid line of communication happening. I love progress. I celebrate those little (and big) moments.
After he revealed that his star was in yellow we chatted a bit about being sneaky and following the rules. He agreed that he wanted to follow the rules and keep his star in green.
So far, so good.
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76 comments
those yellow days are surely days to slow down and pause........what would have made it a green day?// is it really worth a green day?? most likely not, have a yellow day and go back to green tomorrow......move on grasshopper!
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It's not easy being green, Ali.....
Like we all do sometimes....wink....
Love the story, love the picture, love the moment shared.
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I find it so interesting that I come here so often to read things that happen to you that are happening to me and I realize that the world is not such a big place after all and that we are all in this thing called parenting together...no matter what our background or what we do for a living or where we live...it's all similar when it comes to what is going on with our kids. And it's nice to know...and it's nice to share! My daughter has a similar system of colors at school. Only they don't have to tell us what they got on that day unless it is really bad and they get on black. Then the teacher calls home. My daughter and I had been having conversations about lying and she was asking me what would happen if she lied and different things like that. We talked about lying by omission. The NEXT day she got "flipped down" at school and the minute she got in the car when I picked her up she told me all about it. She didn't have to...as I said...the teacher only let's us know if it is a really bad situation...but she did. Her comment to me after I thanked her for telling me even though she didn't have to was, "I just KNEW I had to tell you! I just KNEW it!"
Thanks so much for sharing your story about Simon!
Jen
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yay simon! yay you guys too!
i find our communication book for our son (hf autsim) invaluable too Ali as it helps me understand what is happening when i'm not around and how we can work on things and follow through at home with what is being worked on in therapy and at preschool.
you always encourage me :)
and simon rocks :)
lusi x
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Little victories are just as important as the big ones I've come to learn.
I love when things like that happen ~ gold star for Mom and Dad for raising such an honest little boy*!*
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Ali,
Your stories are such an inspiration as are your creative lessons each day. I love the balance of what you share. You help me to go outside of my box creatively and you inspire me to be a good mom too. Simon is so sweet and while I am reading...I can easily substitute my son's name (Ryan) as if this was a story from our family. Thanks for the smile.
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Love that sneaky story! Communication has been such a key for us with our hfa son, especially as he has gotten older. And the things that these kids will say just keeps my heart smiling!
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sweet sweet simon......I am just smiling picturing him telling you about his sneaky! So sweet.
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I know how much these little things mean to you. It's wonderful that you share them and most importantly share them. It's so nice to see Simon being truthful. And you know what Ali he's a little boy, sometimes they just like to do silly things..It's all part of growing up. I also love that pic of him that you posted he's seems to have grown so much. Good for him! He's going to make an excellent big brother!
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OOps I said share twice I meant celebrate the second time!
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oh that is great! we tell our girls all the time that we are just as proud of them when they make mistakes or bad choices as we are on the days that they make great choices! they are our daugthers and we love them no matter what and want to be in on all of their world... glad Simon shared so openly with you and felt safe doing it! :) yeah for you all as his parents and for that sweet Simon!!!
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Openness, Truthfulness, and Bravery to share the good and the bad should all be celebrated with ICE CREAM!!!!
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I love how honest Simon was with you, and how well you two communicate together about these sorts of things. Very inspiring for me... The word "sneaky" is kind of a controversial one in our little mom group -- I think it's a funny word and Rip (my 4 1/2 year old) and I use it a lot, but in a joking fashion. The other mothers, however, think sneaky is only to be used as a very bad descriptor, so I've really had to rethink that one. Keep us posted on the "sneaking", ok?
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My children love "Simon Stories." Emily 4, and Adam 2, come running to me when they see me using my laptop. "What did Simon do today?" Today, he was "sneaky." Emily asks, "What's sneaky, mom?"
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I love hearing about your mommy methods, Ali. They just seem to make so much sense to me! I need to write these things down for when I have kids. ;)
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Hello! I meant to reply days ago, and ended up forgetting, but I just wanted to wish you the best with your melanoma treatment and share my story.
I am 46 years old, but back when I was 20, I was diagnosed with a melanoma on my chest. It was removed as a stage 1 and had clean margins after having a baseball size chunk of my chest removed.
Fast forward.....I have had at least 10 other precancerous moles removed--some being the stage prior to being full blown melanoma.
I guess what I wanted to say is that I have lived a blessed 26 years after diagnosis and had 3 children in the process. I truly know the fear and anxiety you are going through. I wish you the best and hope for no more "scares". Janie
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