Things I Am Learning (or re-learning)

Ali,
I am the mother of 2 girls. No boys. The mother daughter bond is amazing. Enjoy it. Savor it.
I felt so guilty and overwhelmed when Olivia came along. How was I going to love her like I love Maya. People told me don't worry you just will. I didn't believe them. No one had ever loved their first born like I love mine. Ever.
Wow! Look what I've learned in the last almost 3 years. I have enough love for both of them. I love them differently but both of them just as intensely. Holding Olivia in my arms with her head on my shoulder calms me like none other.
As I said before, trust yourself. You already know what to do.

#12? just made me cry at work. love it!

I was in your position last year. I had a little boy 6 years after my first. We still go through the change with DD being the only child for so long to sharing. Especially since our son had surgery right after he was born in addition to my C section. What I do now is schedule a date with her for Mommy and me time it took me a good 6-8 months to come up with that one.

Thanks for the words of wisdom and comfort Ali. My 2nd is on the way and I'm very worried about having two under 2 (my son is 18 months old). Your comments make me realize that I'm human and remind me to have no expectations, enjoying every moment. I'll have to reread these once my little one arrives so I don't forget the lessons.

what a wonderful post Ali. Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your world. I would love to hear more about school situations for Simon. We are having a really hard time right now with our son and his school. He's also on the spectrum and is mainstreamed but we know he is being left behind. Feeling frustrated. Would love to hear what other moms are experiencing.
Thanks!
Gretchen

Oh, so true... I have a 1 year old and an almost 4 year old. It took a good 6 months before the weeping and the sobbing and the adjusting mellowed. I missed my oldest - desperately - somedays. And sleep deprivation compounds EVERYTHING. Having 2 children is an amazing gift! But no one ever tells you what an adjustment it is! It's hard. Period. And you learn to do a LOT of things while nursing the second! There should be an olympic event JUST for nursing mommas! Hang in there - take things moment by moment.

Ali Anna is absolutely beautiful. Simon sounds like he is going to be a wonderful big brother.It is amazing how fast they grow. I am sorry you had a bad day yesterday. I have 3 boys and when I have a frustrating day I thik of the song "It won't be like this for long" by Darius Rucker and think how sad it will be once they are gone and the house is quiet. I know I will e wishing for all those frustrating days again.
Take care of yourself and your beautiful family! You are truly blessed.

As much as it is easy to say "sit back and enjoy" sometimes it is hard too. Those first six weeks of each child is a blur to me. Luckily, I had my blog to look back on. Some posts were fuzzy memories and some were insightful. I can relate to this post on nearly every level. And I know that weekly there is "one of those days" and we get by and come out on the other side richer and better. She is utterly gorgeous and looks delicious (for lack of a better word!) When the going gets tough-- the tough go snuggle. ;) Do you have a sling or carrier? I LOVED LOVED LOVED the Moby from this age thru 5 months. Kept the baby close to me but my hands were completely worry free and able to do other things with my other child. Also, it provided the teeny baby the comfort of being near my heart and chest -- that close snuggle they love. Check 'em out if you are interested!

First, Congrats on your sweet baby girl! :-)
The transition from one to two (or three, in my case) is a tough one. It's amazing how it all just works.
Hoping that things calm down for your boy-boy. Transitions are so tough!

I loved reading your list. It took me back 30 years. Someone once told me that the transition from one child to two is a leap.
It's so hard to function when your tired and they were right its huge. It's a day at a time,embrace the good and the bad. Reading your post and looking back reminded me that these are moments to treasure.

Congratulations Ali! Anna is absolutely beautiful. I have a two year old son and it is hard to remember him being a newborn. I think #18 rings so true and I wish I had had that insight when my son was so new. :-)
Blessings to you and your family from Georgia!

Oh Ali, I remember those first days and how hard (and wonderful) they can be. Don't know if you're a country music fan, but pull up Darius Rucker's "It won't be like this for long", it's perfect for where you are right now.

Sounds like Baby Anna is a joy. Thank you for sharing your life with us, your family is an inspiration. My grandson was having major behavior problems. We discovered he is very sensitive to Red Dye 40. It wasn't until he spent a month with me last summer & I began putting 2+2 together that we began to suspect his behavior might be food related. When you research Red Dye 40, you begin to see patterns. It is in everything - even some antibiotics. We have worked very hard taking this from his diet & the results are amazing. Even he can tell a difference. At Christmas I put a multi-color lollipop in his stocking & he said he couldn't eat it because he didn't want his head to hurt. You might want to see if there is a food/behavior relationship to Simon's behavior. Can you believe school lunches are loaded with Red Dye 40?

I had a lot of the same feelings after having my 2nd (a girl) and my first is a boy. Especially #7, I remember coming home from the hospital, sitting on the couch with my newborn sobbing because I felt guilty for having another child and I felt like I was abandoning my son. I remember my mom saying to me, 'before long, Justin will not remember a time before Isla and they will have so much fun as they get older". She was right. He adjusted, we all did. I give them the same amount of love and time, it's hard sometimes but I do it. Now I'm trying to decided, 'should we have a 3rd?'
Enjoy every moment!

When my youngest was born, my oldest was in Kindegarten. He too would wake up and say he was sick so he could stay home - he had this idea that the baby and I went out to eat, shopping, etc. all day while he was at school. We let him stay home once, and we stayed at home. I reminded him that when he is sick, we can't go places! He hasn't asked to say home since!!
good luck! :)

I can so relate to your thoughts today. We are 5 weeks or so away from welcoming our newest addition. Remember to just sit and enjoy these first few precious weeks. There is nothing more important (including this blog which doesn't mean we won't really miss you) than just sitting and holding your new baby. Thanks for sharing so much these first few weeks!
Monica

Ali, love your 'this too shall pass' approach. Best wishes, Helen

I have injoyed this glimpse of your new life. Your new family. DD is expecting anyday now with #3 son. So I am getting so excited. Enjoy!

"the kids" was a favorite of mine too. And I totally know what you mean about Simon seeming so much bigger once you had Anna. Same thing happened with us...you are told it will happen but until you experience it, you can't completely understand. Enjoy this time because it goes so fast. Our little Anna will be six months soon and I can't believe how big she looks compared to your little Anna!

Wow Ali, sounds like you are having a VERY typical experience with kiddo number #2. I can related to each and every item in your list - with the exception of the daughter one. Makes me think maybe another try is warrented. How blessed you are and how beautiful this new phase in your life :)) Enjoy every moment 9except the weepy ones, those you can just throw out the window!). Marcia