Oh Mr. Morning, We Meet Again
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Yesterday, after a particularly challenging few mornings and afternoons, Simon and I had a little meeting to make a responsibility chart. As I got to some of his afternoon responsibilities he said, "May I have the pen?" I handed it over and he wrote his current favorite sentiment: "No School."
Meaning he would like to do anything other than go to school.
"No School's" best friend is "But I'm Tired."
Sometimes they pal around with "I Don't Care," "NO," or the occasional random friend "Journey To The Soul" (a long story involving Shrek The Third and what Simon originally thought was "Jeremy The Soil".
Each are said in the loveliest of whining voices with a pinch of tears every now and then thrown in for good measure.
Just about two years ago (almost to the day I realized when I went looking for the link) I posted a quick letter to Mr. Morning Challenge - letting him know that it was time for him to move on. Maybe there is something about this week in October that is just perfect for grouchiness in the morning. Right now we are having the distinct pleasure of an afternoon challenge as well.
According to his teachers his behavior at school has been good. They don't seem to be hearing as many "No" responses.
At home though, it's been a challenge.
My Mom has been staying with us the last few days and came to Simon's 2nd Grade Open House. Always fun to see the classroom - check out his desk, chat with his main teacher, see what parts he is excited about right now.
For all the "No School" talk in both the mornings and the afternoons there are lots of things he seems to be enjoying: running at recess with some other kids, playing with a chess board (not really playing right now but having fun putting all the pieces on the board and playing wizard chess), getting really good at math, and being the door holder (next best thing to being "line leader").
And as we were driving home from the swimming pool last night and as I said the prayer with him as he went to bed one of my favorite everyday life quotes from Mary Jean Iron kept going through my head:
Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.
So today, I am expressing gratitude for these normal days.
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146 comments
great post. thanks for sharing.
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Well, I wish I could tell you this will be temporary, but that would not be fair. As a long-time mom (26, 18, 14 & 12), I am SO familiar with this! My big kids are off at college, but the little ones' favorite word is W-A-I-T!, said in plaintive tones while they keep scrolling away on the computer or tapping on that iphone. And then there is that old favorite, Mo-o-o-o-om! Sigh. But you are completely right about the beauty of a normal day--because my kids are so spread out in ages (and it took major infertility intervention to get them here at all), I really try to appreciate every day. Some days it is harder than others...!
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for as long as i have been reading your blog, and as many of your posts have resonated deeply within me, this one might just top them all!
my girl began Kindy this fall & after a fairy-tale beginning, the honeymoon is OVER! i hear the same whiny excuses before & after school, get the same tears & pouting face about the littlest things. reading through the replies was a great reminder that we really are all together in this wonderful, tumultuous adventure of momma-hood...
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Wow, I am glad to hear of other moms going through challanging things. I have 3 kids and my husband & I look at each other and say "this just is not what other families are going through" Our days and evenings are very challanging. Twin 7 year old boys that are constantly being annoyed or tortured by they're almost 9 year old sis. She is a serious handfull all the time. Finally after 7 years of searching and testing we got an ADHD diagnosis,makes knowing her better. But wow. Life can be so hard for all of us because of one child in the family. I yearn for a "normal "day.
You have worked so hard with Simon to get him to where he is now. Life is a process.
Thanks for your always inspiring blog. I visit almost every day.
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Can't compliment you enough for your openness and honesty. But I must add that I loved your humor that was added to this post. It's nice to see that side of you.
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Sigh. I don't want to go to school either. I'd rather stay at home in my pj's and read blogs and scrap my photos and, well, you get the picture. But I'm the speech-language pathologist, so I should probably go to school. And, like Simon, once I'm there, I have a pretty good day!
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Ali,
I do remember your original post. I think it's just started being darker in the morning, that makes me want to stay in bed. My son is usually more quiet about his protests - I wake him and he roles over and covers his head. Of course I'm doing forty other things, so in between each one I have to wake him again. We have gotten as high as six wake-ups before he actually gets up and dressed. Sometimes these episodes start to get tense, as time is short. I have taken to really talking alot about the successes and trying to not get so tense, and it seems to be helping - today he got up singing. I also put him in bed earlier and wake him earlier, which allows for the "five more minutes" without the stress. Good luck!
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Glad to see your post today. Reminds me that I am not alone in this crazy ride we call Motherhood! My daughters new thing is "I forgot" Hope it passes quickly!
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I loved Mary Jean Iron's "normal day" so much when you shared that with us last year. I made a collage and framed it in my art room and by request made them for Christmas gifts last year. There is nothing more wonderful than a normal day.
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Love that quote!!! It made me think of my aunt that lost a child (my cousin) a few years ago, and that all she longed for was just a 'normal day' with her son again. Normal days make us who we are.
Amber Osburn
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I feel so much better. I couldn't understand why some days when I walk Logan (6) home he was actually scowling! Getting that beautiful boy out of the house, or homework (hands washed, etc.) in the aft. has me fighting tears some days! I have 3 in 3 diff. buildings, also, and two in soccer. Thanks for a great post, glad I'm not alone :)
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Thanks for the head check! I have been embroiled for the last couple of days in trying to get my teenage daughter's academic life back on track, as she is going under in a couple of classes. It's been a horrible struggle, we've all been very stressed out, and the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be a mere pinprick.
But then you went and pulled out that quote! Dang, I mean, when you're right, you're right. There could easily come a day when worrying about whether she has a D in history would seem like a gift. I'm sure when my sister had a stroke at age 21 and lay in a coma for 6 months, my own mom was digging in and wishing she could turn back the clock to that last normal day!
Really, thanks for this!
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That quote means more to me than you can imagine. Thank you for sharing it. It will be a daily read for me.
We tend to have a rough patch after the start of school. I call it the "end of the honeymoon" each school year. I agree with some earlier posters also - home is a safe place, a place to let it all hang out (so to speak!) I am often amused to hear about how great my kid is at school! :)
Good luck! When in doubt I repeat: "This too shall pass."
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oh my lord. I absolutely LOVE that prayer and it comes at a perfect time because I just picked up some paper yesterday to start a little "everyday blessings" album. THANKS Ali!!
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Oh yes, I forgot to add the "can you take my temperature?"
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Ali...what Simon is going though is SO very normal!! I taught Kindergarten for 17 years and I can tell you from experience that kids seem to always save their "best" behavior for school and their whiny, complaining times for their parents!! Just stay positive and this too shall pass!! :0) Kids take their cues from how their parents respond to things--you are right on track!! :0) Judy
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Amen.
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Man am I glad to see that your normal. I have put you on a pedestal (which is well deserved) but it makes me feel better to know you have bad weeks with your kids as well. :) It WILL get better!
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Thank you for the quote. I adore it. :)
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You have such a beautiful way of writing, Ali. We have a similar checklist at our house, and we color code it like a traffic light.
Green = Great
Yellow = didn't have to do it today
Red = Did not do it.
Hope it helps.
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