Navigating To My Place
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Image captured at the Ace Hotel's photobooth : Portland, Oregon
After vacationing and then being sick this past weekend I am finally beginning to navigate myself back into my regular routines.
I'm quite the habitual creature. I like routine. I like structure. Even on vacation I like a loose structure. I like, when possible, to know what's coming next so I can adjust my expectations accordingly. I'm not fanatically structured, but I do like days that flow; days where I'm prepared and organized and on time. I also like making and crossing off lists.
One of the new routines I've added recently is taking Simon to swimming lessons twice a week. I've been thinking about my Mom so much as I pack his snack, gather his suit and towel, pick him up from school, drive him to the pool and watch him interact with his instructor. I think about her and wonder what she was thinking about as she did this for three kids, each just about 15 months apart in age. This whole process of snack-making is such an everyday activity. Did she embrace it? Did she mutter frustrations under her breath? Did she long for something else? Did she enjoy it? All those practices, all those meets and matches and games...all those moments packing snacks.
Lucky for me my Mom reads my blog and I'll likely get a call with an answer soon.
My Mom was a serious carpool/sport Mom and she was always big on being early/on time. I remember her telling me at some point how it makes life so much less chaotic and peaceful. She was so right and I have always been a big fan of punctuality and often enjoy the benefits of being early.
She was really fantastic at packing those snacks to fuel us through our practices and events. As I was making Simon's snack for swimming this morning I know I did it in a more consciously loving way as I thought about her and the gifts she possesses as a Mom. I've been thinking about the hours upon hours she spent driving us three kids between practices and schools and home and how she never missed a thing (except that one birthday - you know the one Mom).
Perhaps it's my own rose-colored memory, but I can't recall ever hearing her complain. I also don't have a memory of her being in a hurry to get on to something else.
It's been often throughout my own motherhood journey that I think about my Mom and the role she has played and continues to play in my life. I compare and contrast and often call to ask her for advice or suggestions with my own kids. I have a deep, deep love and fondness for her and the ways she interacted with, taught, guided, supported, instilled confidence, encouraged and loved us as we were growing up.
That Simon has gotten to know her as well as he has is one of the greatest gifts of my life.
I think I recognized I was lucky as a kid to have her for a Mom and now, of course, I know.
I started this post yesterday thinking I was going to share an entirely different story about my life right now.
As I was writing about how I'm navigating through the middle of a bunch of different projects, that image of me standing at the kitchen counter making Simon's snack and thinking about my Mom making snacks for us to eat between school and sports kept entering my mind.
I've given thanks many times in the past for my parents, I'm sure this won't be the last.
Sometimes stories come to me in this sort of way. They interrupt the path I was on, often unexpectedly as I write about something else entirely.
Today I encourage you be open to those stories that come to mind when you are thinking of other things or working on other projects. I invite you to get pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard see where it takes you.
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85 comments
I love this post... Plus, I love seeing your mom in the photo with your daughter. Your mom is a special person, for sure!
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So sweet of you to share!
I admit some snacks are packed with love and some with the muttering and hurry it up attitude!
To be late is simply NOT ALLOWED in our household...from my upbringing....straight A's on a report card, but that 1 tardy....well - I learned early on!
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We don't have kids yet, but I do pack my husband's lunch everyday. At first I really didn't like it. Now I look forward to it. I like packing him special treat's and know that he enjoys opening it up and perhaps finding something new in there. I imagine the smile on his face. Sometimes he even gets a little love note...
Loved the post today....just felt heartwarming.
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Wow. Your post really touched my heart. My 86-year-old mom is in the process of selling her house so she can move in with me and I find myself being happy, excited, and a bit scared at times, wondering if I can be as good and patient a 'daughter' to her now as she has been a 'mom' to me - my entire life. Reading your post made tons of wonderful memories flood to the surface. Thanks, Ali. I really needed this today. :-)
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Hi Ali! Thanks for sharing. It makes me think being mom it is not easy especially my kids have a tons of activities after schooling. I really agree with you preparinge everything before next schedule is coming. You won't be messy your schedule, if my kids could work with you. From now on, I need to manage my schedule, so everything could go smoothly...
Loved your post, I would be clam down to think what to do next...thanks
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I love to hear good stories of daughters and their mothers. I was not lucky enough to have a mother such as you describe in your post but the positive twist on that is I learned much about mothering despite the lack of a loving, caring mother. I'm smiling now as I think of my fabulously close relationship I share with my (almost) 19 year old daughter and am happy in the fact that she will be able to reminisce as you do...and I guess I can thank my mother for that.
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Thank you for this post today. I love reading your blog. I have a wonderful mother and I don't think I tell her enough how much I love and appreciate her. I was always close to my mom growing up but now that I have children even more so. I agree with you completely on having schedules and routine. You function so much better. I am always making lists, even though things don't always get crossed off, I still make them because it makes me feel organized.
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Your post brought tears to my eyes, Ali. Your post made me think of my mom and how much she did for us growing up. It also reminds me of all I do for my children like making their snacks for practices and it seems every day is filled with running one child or another to sports practices. Sometimes it is frustrating to always be on the go with them but after reading your post, I will look at all the things I do for them a little differently. I will embrace this time in our lives for soon I will be missing these times as they are growing so fast.
PS I love the picture of your mom and Anna.
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Ali...SUCH A BEAUTIFUL POST...
Our Mums are too important to not be mentioned on the fly.
Here's my recent post about my Mamma...if you have time.
http://weblogartists.blogspot.com/2010/02/my-mum.html
HUGS
Char
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Thank you for sharing such a wonderful part of you...and your family. I completely related to every word and as I read it, tears welled up in my eyes. I too have a great mom, who I never heard complain about anything. I don't ever remember her being too sick or too tired or even too cranky to be our "everything". As I am making snacks and rushing around to hockey practice, then off to work and feeling frazzled many times over...day after day, I often wonder how she did it! I promise tonight when after school whining, tears, fighting, nagging begins....as we rush out the door for hockey, I will embrace those moments, keep my calm and just be thankful!
Thanks again for sharing and so glad you're feeling better. I have been the same way....the whole month of March is a blur!
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I am lucky to have one of those moms too, and I know that she plays a massive role in the kind of mom I am to my two. Thanks for sharing - I think I need a similar post.
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wonderful post!!!!!!!! u know, great moms always get promoted to Grandma!
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ali, this is such a great post. thank you. I always say that my two siblings who've elected not to have children will never quite get our parents' point of view. It really does make you appreciate all those little things they did over the years. I love your reflections on it.
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oh, i wanted to add something. I recently came across a draft of a college essay written by my 19yr old. He talked about how his mom used to read to him every night when he was growing up. His insights astounded me. They do get it!!! Carry on mothers everywhere!!!! we are appreciated, even by teenagers!!
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Ali, you are so lucky to have such a wonderful mother. I love to see your pictures of her as I can totally see you in your mom's lovely face. And Simon & Anna are so lucky to have such a wonderful mother and grandmother. Thank you for sharing.
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Oh Nora you must be proud of the path your children have taken. The job of protecting a nation from far off threats is one of grave importance. Thank you for sharing and bring on November so you can all be together again.
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Oh Ali you have done it again.... spoken to me through your blog. I always think of my Mum and am grateful for all that she has done for me and continues to do. We didn't have the sports practise driving issues as I used to ride my bike but I can remember lots of other things she did for me growing up. I realise more and more what her life was like now that I am a Mum myself. She had 4 kids under 5 and then another 2 kids under 2, she lost her youngest daughter (my little sister) at 16 months from a drowning and she is still so so strong. She is now a Grandmother to 10 and she is the glue that holds our family together. I get very sad when I think of being so far away from her (18 hours by road)and that I really want my 16month old daughter to get to know her well. I ring her everyday and we chat for what seems like forever and I struggle to hang up the phone and say goodbye.
You simply amaze me because you always seem to know what to write when I need it! Thanks and bless you and your Mum. You are both kind and gentle souls. xxx
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Love your post. I have apperciated my Mom more and more as I parent my own kids. I love having my own Daughter and watching her grow and hoping I am just as close to her when she is grown as my Mom and I are!!!!
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What a beautifully written post!
Having just become a Mummy myself I am constantly thinking how wonderful my mother was to us as we grew up. She used to make snacks and picnics for us when we went to after-school music lessons. It's amazing how much you don't realise your mother is doing for you as you grow, but then, looking back as an adult, it seems that she was just so selfless and amazing. I just hope I can be such a great mother to my little one.
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Hi Ali,
Thanks for this post. It made me cry thinking about how much I appreciate my Mum - her love and very practical and very real support.
My Mum is turning 70 later this year and doesn't want a party. My siblings and I are planning to ask wider family and friends to share what they see as special about Mum (photos, stories, memories etc) and then we will compile it an album or book. Just so she knows how much she is appreciated and loved.
I try to say thank you all the time, but it doesn't seem enough...
Thanks Debbie
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