The Evolution Of My Story

You are loved and admired by so many of us. Please know that we are sending thousands of good thoughts your way.

Blessings to you and your family that you may have a year filled with peace and joy. Please know that your friends and family are there to support you.

Marriage is forever. And sometimes that looks like the husband lives one place and the wife another. I think it so important to remember that whatever way a couple works out their marriage (including divorce), they have a permanent connection. Doubly so if they share children. And I know how sad it can be when the solution isn't what you expected when you walked down the aisle. I say celebrate all the good that was and will be. Everyone will be blessed.
Supportively,
~Marilee

going thru the same thing myself. you can read about it on my blog. we tried to keep it friendly and good, for the sake of our son. it's getting harder to do that however. divorce brings out the worst in people, no matter how hard you try. i wish you the best and i will pray for you every day.

thanks for sharing! :)

btw, i'm not sure how far into it you are. my first year of separation was the worst. that was the summer of 2010. the fall of 2011 i finally knew in my heart i would be OK.... and you will be ok too....

Ali, I know that the shameless bullies over at The Smack Center have a great deal of delight and titillation speculating on your marital status I want you to know that there are many mature women out here who feel for you and hope you and the kids come out of this a healthy, happy, family. It cannot be easy to live your life in the public and then have to discuss the not so pretty parts of life but you have written this post with great poise and I am proud of you.

PS ... Ali, your post really moved me... and I've been praying for you. If you want, feel free to email me. I am here for you. I know it's hard. I can tell you this, it is thee hardest thing I've ever ever had to do. With children, it's just not fun or freeing. Stay close to what brings you joy and peace, and know there will be a day you will be able to look back and be glad you got thru it. You will be stronger for it. It doesn't feel that way now perhaps. But today, nothing, not anything hurts as bad as I have hurt during this, and nothing has the power to rock me anymore.

The holidays are difficult. This is not an easy one for me, and it's my second one as a separated woman. We will be getting divorced in the new year. I don't look forward to what lies ahead, but I know my God will not let me fall on my face, no matter what hurdles I have to overcome.

You will be better, stronger and wiser when this is over. Hang in there and email me if you need to. I think you have it per your form.

Hugs, andrea

Ali -

Over the weekend I thought of you. Completely random. I hadn't had a chance to check out your blog in a few weeks due to just life, not even holidays, getting in the way. I had wondered how Chris and you were doing.

You are so brave and kind to share this with all in blog-land. This is your story and the fact that you choose to share it makes me very humble.

May the Light illuminate your path in this new year. Many hugs and good wishes for the kids, Chris and you. - Lourdes

You are SO right when you say there is nothing easy about divorce. But as you continue to display grace and strength in the face of this life-changing time, I know that you will embrace all the wonderful, sad, messy, and never boring aspects of each day. And in that process, that you so generously share with us, you will continue to "choose to live in joy."

Ali -
Thank you for sharing your story. We met a few years ago when you, Chris and Simon came to the North Eugene Health Center. I was keeping Simon entertained while you were speaking with the nurses.
I have always been an admirer of your work - you are incredibly talented and inspiring.
I recently went through what you are going through and my prayers are with you and your entire family. It is not an easy journey, but it is one that is filled with promise and growth, and with that we become better human beings, in whatever that means to each of us as individuals.
I remember that in order to protect my children from seeing me fall apart, I would take a drive when I felt like I was going to have an emotional breakdown, and I would find whatever parking lot that was close and I would park there by myself and sob, until it was out of my system. This went on for months, and now parking lots have a greater meaning to me.
Being alone was painful, but it also allowed me to discover my greatest strength that was hidden deep within and through that came great courage.
I wish you an immense amount of peace.

Tina Guerrero

I am so sorry to read this, Ali. May you find peace and calm in the chaos that divorce brings.

I share your sorrow and pain and at the same time share the sentiment that it is possible to focus on the positives in the midst of personal heartache.

I commented on your blog a few months ago saying I could not pick up my camera. I wrote that I did not want to have pics reminding me of a terrible chapter in my life. Fast forward - I just spent my first Christmas with my children visiting their father during the day and arriving at my home for dinner. I dreaded that day beforehand with all that it meant for it came with a realisation of the present situation and a sign of the future without the one person I thought would be with me forever. However, it was a turning point. I fully enjoyed the 'peace' of Christmas without the pressure of getting dinner on the table at a reasonable hour (before 3pm!) and without the children asking constantly - 'can we open presents now?' . I now look forward to 2012 because with it brings new challenges, new discoveries, and the knowledge that the horror of 2011 is behind me.

Each of our stories are unique and ours to share or not to share. I believe, with all my heart, that the sorrows of life are to be treasured along with the joys. They each contain something to help us move forward with our life and the choice we have is how we allow those experiences to shape us. Ali, may you find some peace in the midst of turmoil and may you find your own turning point when you realise that even in the sadness there is a treasure just waiting to be discovered.

I could not have written, nor understood those words a few months ago. I am so thankful that I do now.

Every blessing to you and your beautiful family for 2012.

I am sending you cheerful thoughts & positive vibes! I have two things to say.

1)You very eloquently shared this delicate information with tremendous grace & poise that is to be admired! Life is dictated by balance and for the bad there is good and visa versa, I applaud and appreciate your willingness to let us share in this time of your life.
2) Thankfully, Our paths have crossed in the past. I used to work as an event coordinator for CKU and the week of CKU-Provo my divorce was finalized. While I knew it was for the best I was in a fragile state while trying to remain positive in my surroundings. My sister Sarah mentioned to you what was going on in my life and you would hug me and be happy & encouraging every time you saw me and while I’m sure the kindness & hope you gave me hasn’t crossed your mind since YOU made a positive difference in my life. Simply by being a kind hearted human being.

I'll be praying for all of you. Your choice of a positive relationship is to be admired. Thanks for your openness and honesty with all of us.

I have just been throught this.. this last year. And I would love to say it gets easier... it sometimes doesn't. getting through and being there for your kids..enjoying the moment....that is the most important. Prayers for your family.

Wishing you the very best for you and your family. Thank you for inspiring us and I hope you find some inspiration in us too!

Go forward!!! There is your light in going forward.

Dearest Ali, years and years ago, from the first moment I saw your work, read your stories, I admired you big time. You, the way you are, being real, it has deeply changed the way I see daily life. I hope you will feel all the positive energy and support from around the globe multiplied in this new phase in your life. In a little over 2 hours the new year will start here in holland. I will put my glass UP and toast on YOUR new adventure and wish it will bring you and your amazing kids so much love and peace and more beautiful moments and chances then you ever imagined possible. Love, mandy

I am so sorry to hear this. Sending you peace and love.

Hi Ali,

I don't know what to say. I am so sad reading this and I wish all the best for you, Simon and Anna. ♥

Ali,

I wasn't able to check in with your blog during the Xmas hoopla, so I just saw this today. All I can say is that I know how you feel. I have been through a divorce again, and am now looking at the possibility of another one. I, too, am at a major crossroads in my life. Know that it does get better, and while life may be different, it can be very, very good being on your own again, making your life all that you want it to be. I wish you the best in the coming year.

I am sending good thoughts your way, waves of them. Simon and Anna are delightful and with your positive attitude towards the new reality they will be fine. You will too, Ali. You're great!