Last Tuesday morning Chris and I had a meeting at Simon's school to discuss the results of his recent re-evaluation for services (a state mandated 3-year eligibility in the area of Autism Spectrum Disorder).
This was a bit different than a regular annual IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting where we take a look at how he's been doing and set goals/accommodations for the next year.
Over the last month or so we filled out evaluations (GADS - Gillham Asperger Diagnostic Scale and a parent questionnaire/case history), testing was done at school by the school psychologist (Kaufman Assessment Battery For Children-II and Kaufman Test of Educational Achievement-II), and his teachers also filled out evaluations (GADS - Gillham Asperger Diagnostic Scale).
Around the table at the meeting was the director of Simon's program, his speech teacher, the regional autism coordinator, the school psychologist, and his third grade teacher.
For two hours we talked about Simon and reviewed a nine-page assessment packet detailing the results of the testing and observations. We laughed, we agreed, we expressed fears, we questioned, we discussed, we giggled at things he does both at home and school, and we shared stories. We celebrated his strengths and brain-stormed ways to help him move forward with his weaknesses.
As I sat, listening and participating and looking around the table, this is the thought that came to mind: I am so thankful for the people sitting around this table. They see lots of kids. They've got lots of things on their plates, including attending meetings like this one with parents. They've got personal lives and issues. They were all fully present, fully participating, and fully advocating for Simon.
One of my favorite pieces of the assessment came from the "relevant background" section:
"Simon's teachers note that he is a kind-hearted, conscientious student. He is very sweet and affectionate to those he knows well, he is eager to please, and he is very methodical in his work completion. He enjoys reading and has good memorization of factual information and rules. Simon has a big smile and has excellent fine motor skills. He enjoys talking about family trips and his sister."
Over the nine-pages there's a lot of documented challenges for Simon. Without going into details, as a parent there's a lot of information to get lost in - numbers, averages, recommendations, suggestions, etc.
What I'm simply so thankful for is that the focus of the people around the table was on how we can help Simon continue moving forward - building upon and making the most of his strengths and finding ways to help him gain ground in the other areas.
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114 comments
Ali, it is so good to hear that others are blessed with a caring team of advocates who are the professionals and parents of kids who struggle with things that come naturally to others. I worry about many families who don't call upon the professionals for help and experience this support that they and their child so desperately need. Hurray for all of you who are advocates and caretakers for these sweet, very real kids!
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just curious if you use the gluten, casein and soy free diet with him. if so, have you seen any changes? is he autistic or aspergers? struggling here to find some help for our child. he looks great and pretty typical from all my readings. you're doing a great job helping him! thanks.
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Hi Anny - when Simon was first diagnosed at 3 we tried the diet with him. In his case we didn't feel like it made a difference with his behavior(s). I think it's worth a try as there are many families who have found that it changed things for them. Simon's diagnosis is Autism Spectrum Disorder (aspergers is part of the spectrum but his diagnosis is not specifically aspergers).
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As a mother of an autistic son I would add that sometimes our children teach us more about life and living than we can ever hope to teach them. May God bless you. The awesome team members we had the pleasure of working with over the years could be counted on one hand, but the impact our son brought to our small community was and is to this day, priceless.
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[...] read this awesome post by Ali Edwards about her experience at a school conference for her autistic son. She looked around the table at [...]
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Thank you Ali for sharing your story. I too have a son who falls on the Autism Spectrum Disorder and also find comfort and gratitude with the help of his teachers, counselors, and therapist when we meet to discuss Ryan's progress and what we as a team can do to help him going forward. He is now starting high school and I can already sense a more mature young man then last year in middle school. I thank my son, Ryan for all of his hard work he has done in order to help get him where he is today.
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Ali, thank you so much for sharing this story. Simon sounds very similar to my boy Quincy but he doesn't fall on the Spectrum but he's very close. Just quirky in nature and has his own issues but we love him and love this journey and wouldn't trade any of it for the world.
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Hi ALi,
It's so nice to hear such kinds words from a parent perspective regarding your eligibility experience. I'm a 3rd year school psychologist in training in Virginia, and sometimes my job is very very hard; parents and the school disagree, kids don't make as much progress as we hope, we deliver news that someone may not want to hear. I am so happy to hear that your experience in SpEd has been a positive one--often times we only hear when people are upset! I'm sure Simon is an amazing, talented, and incredible little boy and he is lucky to have such an amazing and talented momma :)
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As someone who has followed you throughout the years, first in CK Magazine--then through your amazing books--and now through your blog; I have seen what an involved Mom in Simon's Autism. You gave Autism a better meaning for me. You helped shed light on how diet can deeply effect the lives of people with Autism. All this to say, I feel like I almost "know" Simon through your beautiful writings. So, I rejoice with you over such a wonderful report. He seems like such a neat kid!!!!
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You are really blessed to have such a fine group.
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I KNEW there was another "connection" to you other than scrapbooking... I logged on tonight to watch the video for the 31 Days class I signed up for but instead found the segment about your son and your latest school meeting. Wow... our lives are very parallel in that regard. My daughter has Aspbergers (and my twin sons have ADHD). And just like you said, I am always amazed at all those people putting their hearts into my child. And I also relate to how wonderful these special kids are with their "handicaps". Anyway, wonderful post, and I'm going to watch my video now; I'm really looking forward to starting my '31 Days" project!
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Thanks Valerie and welcome to class!
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MOnths later..but...I didn't know Ali, your son had Aspergers/autism...I am (now) a single mom. It's wonderful to have a good support system. I read a few people going through similar things and my two cents having been through the iep and school stuff... I also had great teachers,etc but in the end I pulled him out of public school. IN NO WAY am I saying public school is bad. My point is only to trust your gut. There are times change is necessary and it doesn't always follow everyone's advice. I have in currently in a 100 student (k-8) private Christian school and it it so perfect for his needs. Not everyday is perfect but there is a deeper love. Focus is often less cookie cutter than public school because of the small size. My family, teachers, therapist all had concerns but I prayed and trusted that God would lead me to the right place and he is faithful.
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I began following you because of the One Word, and the scrapbooking. But your link Autism caught my eye because I am a school psychologist. I appreciated seeing the other side and reminding me that what I do truly can make a difference in people's lives. Thanks for that!
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ALI!
Thank you for expressing your gratitude for those around the table!I have been in sped for 18 years and the love and joy we feel with the growth of the children sometimes gets lost within all the details. I am a teaching assistant and we are not allowed to go to the CSE meetings in our school district. Please know that we are always "rooting" for the children to be the best they can be!
So happy to hear of Simon's successes...I have followed you and your blog for years!!!
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Ali,
I understand your fears and your triumphs regarding your son. My Son has ADHD (on the Spectrum) and Auditory Processing Disorder. I made sure he received all the testing and services he needed in high school.
Guess what? He's in college now. Yes, it's still a struggle for him, if you compare it to you or I. We are seeing alot of personal growth. My Son is determined to get his 4 year degree. Sure, he still has challenges in his life. My Husband and I support and teach whenever possible.
Years from now, you will look back and smile. Your Son will have completed school and you will have survived it!
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1st time to read your blog.. and there were tears... You are so lucky to have loving children and they are so blessed to have you!
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[…] I’ve written about these meetings before, most specifically a post titled Looking Around The Table. […]
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