Looking Around The Table

Hi Ali,
As an educator I'd like to thank you for the shout out you give to the team of professionals who care about your son. I know that the education system is not perfect, but there are many, many, many good things going on there that people often choose to overlook. There are also many good people doing good things for kids. I appreciate that you chose to shine a little light on it today.
Dana

Thank you for posting about this, Ali; it's renewed my hope/commitment for me to gain more support etc for my son. As a single mother-of-3 (working f/t) support, empathy/sympathy, understanding, hope etc is often hard to come by! Thanks for helping me 'keep on keeping on' and being my son's champion. X Sharron

As a teacher, thank you for appreciating. It means so much.

Ali, this post is so about your style. A story without photos with the perfect photo. A challenge you choose to look at with gratitude. A lesson on how to document the everyday when you aren't even sure you want to document it. Finding a gem ("One of my favorite pieces of the assessment") in an overwhelming report. And based on comments, it resonates with your readers. Well done!

Thank you for this post. It is always comforting and inspiring when the village works! Good job and good luck to Simon.

As a mama I truly believe in the 'it takes a village' mentality. I have three children (13,11 & 7) and I see our roles as mothers and teachers and friends and neighbors to lift up all of our children and love them and support them on their journey. I often see many adults quick to judge these small people or make snarky comments about them and we really need to see the great potential that each one has...it's our job to set them in a direction and support them on their way. And there are so many 'ways' to a happy, fulfilling life.

Thank you-- I am a Speech Language Pathologist working in Illinois in a K-5 building. I know parents are appreciative for the work we (the team) do for / with their child, It feels good to see it in print. I agree that there is a lot that goes into our meetings and (more importantly) there is a lot that can come out of the meetings. I do what I do because I can/ do make a difference in my students' lives -- it is rewarding. Trust me, the team you work with is just as grateful for your family as you are of them.

As a teacher (or future teacher...I'm in grad school now), it warms my heart to know that when Simon is at school, he is surrounded by people who love him and are working hard to help him succeed.

I so understand your feelings about the meeting. My son has autism and he is around the same age as Simon and I am always on pins and needles when those meetings are schedule. I have my tomorrow morning.

What a wonderful posting. I work with deaf and hard of hearing children. I have sat at many IEP meetings. Sometimes I think what it would be like to be a parent at one of these meetings? There are many more "experts sitting at the table than family. We all have to share weaknesses and challenges the student faces or he/she would not be able to receive the services he/she requirea. As a teacher, I have a responsibility to look at the whole child and listen to the parents as this is their child, the people who know the child best. My friend is a parent of a child with special needs. From talking with her, I know that one thing a teacher says the wrong way will stay with that parent for years. We must choose our words carefully.

It sounds as if you and the staff are working so well together. That is a blessing.

At a time when so many public schools are being criticized for "failing" kids who are "Waiting on Superman" thank you for sharing your positive experience. - an educator

My two "boys" who are now 20 and 18 have autism. I have been to over a hundred different meetings for them over the years. I completely agree with you that there are so many wonderful people who work with kids like ours. Thank goodness for them! I have become friends with many of them. I always tell people the unknown blessing of autism that we get to meet these great people who we would not have otherwise met.

I love your blog!

We spent most of yesterday in the ER with Madison dealing with some baclofen pump and digestive issues...and it was so nice to hear one of the RN's outside M's room "those parents are so awesome" - we don't always feel that way but having a child with special needs you sometimes have to advocate extra hard, and it was nice to know it is appreciated. I wanted to say you and Chris are awesome too Ali!! and I am excited you have such a dedicated team working with you and Simon! yay!

I am the mother of one of those dedicated professionals that sit around tables like those and advocates for the student. She is a K-4 resource teacher and she is responsible for 39 students and their wellbeing. She writes their IEPs, she communicates with the parents, she makes sure their IEPs goals are being met. She works harder than anyone I know and loves each of her kids and is their biggest fan. She works with some wonderful parents like you and Chris, Ali and then tries to teach the parents that aren't quite there yet how to be proactive but not adversarial. She has had about 17 meetings just like yours in the last two weeks - on top of her other duties,yet had a 6th grade non-sped teacher tell her last week that special education teachers weren't real teachers, just babysitters! Yet she ended the day just like she started, bull of optimism and dedication. Between parents like you and teachers like her, I am convinced this is a pretty magical world! Thanks for sharing your stories, we are truly blessed.

sorry - FULL of optimism and dedication! :) Not bull!!!

We just went through our son's 3 year eval for autism. Not quite as hopeful as yours, since his behavior now qualifies him as EBD as well. Your post reminded me to focus on the positive, which we heard a lot of, and focus on how we can help him, which we can do. Thank you for the gift of your post.

Ali,

Your post caused me to have flash-backs to my (now 20 year old) son's IEP/Re-eval meetings! He also had several positive meeting full of caring, loving professionals; however, there were also some others which were far less professional, making those required meetings far more stressful and tear-filled, too. I am glad you just experienced a good one and pray you will have many more great ones!

Thank you, Ali, for expressing how gleefully blessed a Mom feels when she gets to share her beautiful child with others who appreciate his fantastic uniqueness just as much as she does. Your expressions of gratitude to the great professionals in your son's life are very important, since they are at school with him each and every day, at a time when you are (necessarily) absent from his world! Working together as a team, you can provide Simon with a strong foundation from which to build his future. With all of you working together, Simon will learn independence and how to advocate for what he needs, now and throughout his life.

I have never posted a comment before online but felt that I needed to tell you that YOU were the most important person at that meeting. This is not simply because you are Simon's Mom and love him unconditionally (which we know you do!) It is because you are his "Rock" and his legal advocate. You know ALL of his history and so much about his potential, too. After all, the only people who will be at ALL of those meetings (and countless others with doctors, specialists, etc.) throughout Simon's entire youth are YOU (and possibly Simon's Dad) and Simon. The continuity is essential to Simon's progress. While gifted, caring teachers are also very necessary and genuinely deserve all of the appreciation and support you can muster, they haven't been there for Simon like you have been, and they are not going to be there every step of the way for him into his future, no matter where he goes nor what he does, like you will be.

Isn't it a shame that all kids don't get Individualized Education Plans (IEP's) and re-eval meetings? My other two didn't and I can only say that they had their own struggles which sometimes were not addressed as effectively nor as easily as they would have been if they, too, had an IEP.

My children always attended and actively participated in these types of meetings, as well as their parent/teacher/STUDENT conferences. After all, just try putting yourself in your child's shoes, how would YOU like to have all of the people who are so very important to your daily school life (your Mom, your teacher, your special ed teacher...) all meet to talk about YOU while YOU were not there? Can YOU imagine having YOUR employer meet with your parents or husband to do your annual job performance review, without YOU? If the child isn't there, how much of the information is never communicated directly to him/her? At one of my son's re-eval. meetings, my son refuted some of the observations reported by a school psychologist. Evidently, a clerical error caused some of the information on his report to not even be about him at all! And, my son was the one who noticed the error and questioned it! Yay for him!

A message to give you hope...my son who was diagnosed with highly-functioning Asperger's autism & ADD at age 7 is now 20 and living away from home as a sophomore in college, happily sharing a tiny room with an assigned (stranger, previously unknown to him) roommate! He is a double-major in an Honors Program earning a 4.0 GPA while also being actively involved in the university's student government, working as a TA to a professor, and planning to attend law school! Watching him grow past his childhood challenges to succeed at such a high level has brought me pure pride and joy! I know there will come a day when you will heave a sigh of relief and joy at all the tribulations Simon has overcame along the way, too!

Ali,don't ever accept less than you know Simon is capable of achieving. Never accept that Simon's potential is anything less than unlimited and never allow Simon to accept less, either. Simon's hurdles are just set higher than a lot of other kids' are, but that does NOT mean he isn't fully capable of jumping over them.Although he has certain disabilities, his unique ABILITIES are even more important and too easily overlooked.

Simon is very lucky to have YOU as his Rock and we are lucky to have you share your courage and devotion with us. Thanks!

It is always so encouraging to hear about other people's success in this area. We are also very lucky to have a group of skilled and caring professionals helping us and our son. They work so hard and really do care. They deserve our gratitude and support.

I have been in both the wonderful heart-warming meetings and the ones that make you feel like you are fighting for your child's life. I have 2 with autism. What I have learned is that no matter how wondeful our team is and how trustworthy the people are we are the ones who are in it for the long run. We need toremind our professionals of this so they keep in mind we are the experts o. Our son. We truly appreciate our wonderful teachers, therapists, and administrators. But they are our support in the short term.

I'm here reading this article and all the amazing comments because this post was listed on a blog meme "Pay It Forward" that takes place on my blog. God seems to make sure there are wonderful people in our lives, helping us through the ruff patches.

God bless Simon and your entire family!