Last Tuesday morning Chris and I had a meeting at Simon's school to discuss the results of his recent re-evaluation for services (a state mandated 3-year eligibility in the area of Autism Spectrum Disorder).
This was a bit different than a regular annual IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting where we take a look at how he's been doing and set goals/accommodations for the next year.
Over the last month or so we filled out evaluations (GADS - Gillham Asperger Diagnostic Scale and a parent questionnaire/case history), testing was done at school by the school psychologist (Kaufman Assessment Battery For Children-II and Kaufman Test of Educational Achievement-II), and his teachers also filled out evaluations (GADS - Gillham Asperger Diagnostic Scale).
Around the table at the meeting was the director of Simon's program, his speech teacher, the regional autism coordinator, the school psychologist, and his third grade teacher.
For two hours we talked about Simon and reviewed a nine-page assessment packet detailing the results of the testing and observations. We laughed, we agreed, we expressed fears, we questioned, we discussed, we giggled at things he does both at home and school, and we shared stories. We celebrated his strengths and brain-stormed ways to help him move forward with his weaknesses.
As I sat, listening and participating and looking around the table, this is the thought that came to mind: I am so thankful for the people sitting around this table. They see lots of kids. They've got lots of things on their plates, including attending meetings like this one with parents. They've got personal lives and issues. They were all fully present, fully participating, and fully advocating for Simon.
One of my favorite pieces of the assessment came from the "relevant background" section:
"Simon's teachers note that he is a kind-hearted, conscientious student. He is very sweet and affectionate to those he knows well, he is eager to please, and he is very methodical in his work completion. He enjoys reading and has good memorization of factual information and rules. Simon has a big smile and has excellent fine motor skills. He enjoys talking about family trips and his sister."
Over the nine-pages there's a lot of documented challenges for Simon. Without going into details, as a parent there's a lot of information to get lost in - numbers, averages, recommendations, suggestions, etc.
What I'm simply so thankful for is that the focus of the people around the table was on how we can help Simon continue moving forward - building upon and making the most of his strengths and finding ways to help him gain ground in the other areas.
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114 comments
Ali, this too touched me. My 8-year old does not have autism, but we suspect he has executive functioning disorder... what his sister calls the absent minded professor issue. Nonetheless, when I dropped him off at carpool this morning, the woman who ushered him out of my minivan asked, "Is this your boy? He is just the sweetest thing. (Insert southern drawl here.)I'm his art teacher." I beamed...don't you love it when other people love your child with their whole hearts? Not because of what we have done, but because of who they (our other mothers, teachers, and friends) and our children are.
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That is exactly it Angie. Exactly :).
LOVE this (and that photograph is awesome btw... =) ). This story (and Angie's take) resonates for me, too, and it reminds me of how much others love our children and that we're not alone as parents advocating for a solid ground and a path to the future; that our children have loads of help on their journey.
This fills my heart with gratitude and love in return.
So true....As a teacher of your little ones....it is amazing how they worm their way into my heart so quickly and become a part of my family to the point that at the end of the year....tears are shed by me.... I truely miss them all summer long
However, to be honest....I may not like them all the time...but I love them...and they are completely different things.
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Another misty eyed mama. This is a wonderful post. For us we are so very thankful for the attention that is given to my boys I love the communication that is given by each of my by the teachers. My youngest son receives speech therapy and I have seen how he has grown and flourished and I could not be more thankful for all that is done and the love that is given. I am forever thankful & will never be able to thank each of them enough.
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he sounds like such a great kid!
how nice to have someone else recognize those things in him!
way to go mom, you are raising a great boy~!
tara
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Thank you so, so , much for this post. I love your writing and your story telling abilities. May I ask, how did you learn to write so well? Are you a natural born writer or did you learn from reading a book or class? Thank you again, for your post.
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Thanks for sharing your journey with us Ali. I don't comment much, but I read every post and am often inspired by your seemingly quiet and calm approach to life.
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Ali thank you for sharing this with us. I am a grandmother of a 4 year old darling little girl named Keirstynne who was diagnosed at birth with Cerebral Palsy and some brain injuries,seizure disorders as well. She is beautiful, willing to learn and we delight in each and every progression in her life.
We too are very appreciative of the entire group that sits around our IEP meeting table. How focused they are on Keirstynne and her progress and anything they can do to improve the quality of her life in regards to learning.
I live in the state of Florida.
I am so happy to see that it extends from the west coast to the east coast.
Many blessings to you and your family.
Thank You for sharing your personal story!
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It's nice to know we are all on the same page at those meetings. It took awhile and an advocate for our family to get there but I never gave up and now we all want the same thing for our son and the stories we share about him are awesome. We all learn something new about him :)
I used to get intimidated at all the tests, the numbers, the goals, the "norm" but after researching and becoming very knowledgeable for the last 9 years has helped us. We now can go in and offer our own goals and accommodations and it helps the school to see how involved we are too.
I love reading about your journey.
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I am a volunteer child advocate at my state legislature for education issues and sometimes it's very difficult to remind legislators that there are caring teachers out there who deserve thanks for all they do. (I'm sure Chris isn't like that-wink) I was touched by your story and tweeted the link so people can remember how loving most teachers really are. Thanks for sharing.
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Ali,
Your post made me cry happy tears. My son Charlie age 5 has autism. He also has a wonderful team supporting him at school. That wasn't always the case, so we moved him to another district and another program. The people who work with him now have restored my faith in humanity. Every single day we feel so blessed that he has all of these amazing advocates in his life. It has made a huge difference.
Reading about Simon's journey (and your journey too) has been one of the most healing things for my heart after Charlie was diagnosed. The way you approach it all was a calming force for me and I have always wanted to tell you how much I have appreciated that. So thank you. Thank you so much. I will always cheer Simon on.
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So great to hear! Before I stayed home with my kids, I tuaght 2nd and 4th grades. I've sat in on many of these and many IEPs as well. It's always a pleasure to work with parents like you, who face the issue, evaluate, set your own goals for him, and use the support system to move on and help your child. Simon is lucky to have them and YOU!
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Ali-
I encourage you to print off your post and mail it to each one of those in your meeting. I am sure it would make their day, not enough people stop and sincerely say "Thank You." Keep up the great work!
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As one of those people who sit around the table with parents, thank you. It is absolutely a team effort and your words are much appreciated.
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Thanks Ali as a Special Educator it is very humbling to receive such kind words. I have be part of these team meeting for many, many years and I am always in awe of what special strength my students demonstrate everyday as most of them come willingly to a setting that often is very challenging to them. They are my heros! Nothing, I mean nothing, can give such great joy as to see a child finally learn something that has been such a challenge. I can't tell you how my heart almost burst each time they read a new word, complete a math problems, solve a social problem or write a sentence. These are truly priceless moments. Also I am also so amazed by what lengths families go through to support their child. Also I do appreciate your recognition. As special educators we are usually the student strongest advocate but are often the "forgotten" teacher and it is nice to hear that what we do does not go unnoticed
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Thanks for sharing this personal story.
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God is so good to put caring people in our lives and in the lives of our children.
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So wonderful! I remember that same feeling after meeting with my son's "team". Truly is such a blessing to have such wonderful people in place.
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my J. had his 3 year update last year @ his iep. (he will be 10 tomorrow) it is alot of testing and stress not only on my guy but on mom & dad too. but how wonderful to see the changes and strengths in the results and to see the areas therapists & school team can work on. Way to go Simon!
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Go Simon. Ali be proud of him, he is doing good. And YAY! for all the teachers that helping out.
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This was very moving Ali, and took me back to a time when I wasn't sure if I had the energy to fight for my own adolescent daughter's needs. Fortunately, I was already working in government and knew how to ask questions and push, push. It's so great that you all had the kind of session you just had. It's one of those rewards for working with the system when it's good and fighting it when it doesn't fit. "Kind hearted" - what parent wouldn't love to hear that!
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I really like this post. It's great that there a so many people who take their jobs seriously and want to help each and every child reach their fullest potential!
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