Last Tuesday morning Chris and I had a meeting at Simon's school to discuss the results of his recent re-evaluation for services (a state mandated 3-year eligibility in the area of Autism Spectrum Disorder).
This was a bit different than a regular annual IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting where we take a look at how he's been doing and set goals/accommodations for the next year.
Over the last month or so we filled out evaluations (GADS - Gillham Asperger Diagnostic Scale and a parent questionnaire/case history), testing was done at school by the school psychologist (Kaufman Assessment Battery For Children-II and Kaufman Test of Educational Achievement-II), and his teachers also filled out evaluations (GADS - Gillham Asperger Diagnostic Scale).
Around the table at the meeting was the director of Simon's program, his speech teacher, the regional autism coordinator, the school psychologist, and his third grade teacher.
For two hours we talked about Simon and reviewed a nine-page assessment packet detailing the results of the testing and observations. We laughed, we agreed, we expressed fears, we questioned, we discussed, we giggled at things he does both at home and school, and we shared stories. We celebrated his strengths and brain-stormed ways to help him move forward with his weaknesses.
As I sat, listening and participating and looking around the table, this is the thought that came to mind: I am so thankful for the people sitting around this table. They see lots of kids. They've got lots of things on their plates, including attending meetings like this one with parents. They've got personal lives and issues. They were all fully present, fully participating, and fully advocating for Simon.
One of my favorite pieces of the assessment came from the "relevant background" section:
"Simon's teachers note that he is a kind-hearted, conscientious student. He is very sweet and affectionate to those he knows well, he is eager to please, and he is very methodical in his work completion. He enjoys reading and has good memorization of factual information and rules. Simon has a big smile and has excellent fine motor skills. He enjoys talking about family trips and his sister."
Over the nine-pages there's a lot of documented challenges for Simon. Without going into details, as a parent there's a lot of information to get lost in - numbers, averages, recommendations, suggestions, etc.
What I'm simply so thankful for is that the focus of the people around the table was on how we can help Simon continue moving forward - building upon and making the most of his strengths and finding ways to help him gain ground in the other areas.
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114 comments
Isn't it wonderful to have that many people invested and caring about 1 person?
If every child had such a devoted team of people, imagine how the world would be!
Thanks for sharing. Go, go Simon!
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Thanks for your honesty in sharing about Simon (and all of your family). My grandson (who lives in Portland) has Aspergers too. I'm thankful my son and daughter-in-law are such great parents to him and his three brothers. It's not easy.
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I am holding back the tears. So happy for Simon's progress and praying that his challenges are no match for what a wonderful kid he is. Praying the same for my daughter. I too am thankful for the teachers and help we've had, and wishing we had the resources in our small town that we could have a psychologist/neurologist/psychologist/pediatric team vs piecing it all together. Praying every day.
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I adored this post, Ali, thanks so much for sharing! Our oldest son had a stroke in utero and has an IEP through our school district (he's in Pre-K now and sees an SLP, OT and classroom integration specialist). I have friends who have commented, "Oh, aren't those long meetings such a hassle?" and NO! They are not. They are wonderful, and such a blessing... to be able to gather around and share sweet stories of my son, and high five his accomplishments... it is so heartwarming. We are truly blessed for the wonderful teachers and therapists that are a part of his life!
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Thank you for sharing. As a teacher, these are difficult times in education. We face so many challenges and uncertainties with budget cuts and jobs. I think my greatest gift to the students I teach is to be fully present and I appreciate that you recognize the team supporting Simon. Celebrate that fabulous anecdotal comment and all the people that know him so well.
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We just recently had my son's annual IEP and it was over 2 hours long as well with 10 people representing various areas from the schools. He is going to middle school next year and it's going to mean many changes for my guy. It's going to be a mix of many emotions for us. I'm choosing to be positive about it all and think of all the new possibilities available for him. I just wanted to say I was surprised by the number of people who commented that had children in their lives that had special needs (both families and teachers and others). Wow, it's nice to not be in the minority for a change! It always seems like I'm the only parent with a special needs child wherever I am.
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If everyone in education did their jobs... all kids would have this support. Unfortunately, many educators do not bring their "A" game to school everyday. Parents, if you want the best for your child, you have to go to school too. That is the only way to show you care. Unless you volunteer, visit, question, and participate... you'll get exactly what you put in to it, nothing. One last thought that could really change your relationship with your child... go through their backpack every night and find all the papers and announcements they didn't remember to give you. It shows how involved you are with school. If I ruled the world I would make it mandatory for every parent to have to spend the day at school for each grade level they enter. Gone are the days when you asked them how school was today and they said "fine".
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Candy, I am so sorry that you apparently have had some struggles with your school system. I don't know that across the board if you aren't at school, no one cares. I hope I represent many other SP Ed teachers that try to "fight" for their students. I work in a socially and financially challenged area where many parents aren't available and myself along with my fellow teachers put our heart and soul into our students. I hope that there will be a change for you so you feel that your child will get the best support available in your district
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As a third grade teacher, I applaud you for being so involved and "present" in Simon's education. It will serve everyone at that table well!
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Ali, I so appreciate you sharing your stories of Simon on your blog. I have read your blog and CK columns for years now and have especially enjoyed them because I have a 3rd grade boy on the autism spectrum as well. (We also have a black lab mix, Lego obsession, love of Star Wars, etc, so sometimes I see photos of your home with many of the same things surrounding you as surround me much of the time!) It is always helpful to learn from how other parents handle their journeys. I often hear from parents who feel they are more at battle with the school system than part of a team, so your post is encouraging on that front as well. I sometimes question whether I am asking for "enough" because we have such non-confrontational IEP meetings! Thanks for sharing your story. I look forward to see how Simon continues to grow and thrive!
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I feel that way too sometimes Carol - especially when you read stories from others about battles. And then I look at what he needs and what he's receiving and it all seems to be in line with one another. I also think it might have to do with expectations...
I think for some students that have more challenges and needs it can really be a battle - especially in these financially strapped times when there is no public funds available (for one-on-one time or even two-on-on or three-on-one...or programs that are disappearing altogether).
i have sat in some IEPs - Re-Evals that are VERY stressful because what one side wants/needs the other side acknowledges but simply cannot provide... it can feel like a no-win situation :(
Carol, your wondering about if you're asking for enough really resonated with me. I'm actually reading Ali's blog as a break from preparing for our IEP meeting tomorrow morning. I stepped away from the process because I was having conflicting thoughts. We too have been blessed with an incredible team after experiencing an okay but less than ideal preschool situation. I think there was still a part of me that feels I need to be extra vigilant to make sure "everything" is in writing. When really, it's probably okay to relax into trusting the authentic collaboration that's genuinely there. Whether it's in writing or not. Of course that doesn't mean I'm going to be less active. I'm just going to say goodbye to some residual anxiety about the process after reading your comment. Thank you Carol!
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I let out such a hopeful sigh as you closed this post. What a testament to everyone's dedication!
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WOW! Amazing teachers, Amazing PARENTS and an AMAZING LITTLE BOY.
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There's nothing better than to connect with someone who really sees my children - not who they could or should be - but who they are. From their grandparentsparents to many of their teachers, I'm so grateful.
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Thanks for sharing this with us today. As an educator, I have worked with two autistic students. Both have wonderful families and I remember having a fountain of respect for them. Their involvement in their child's education made all the difference in the world. Ali, I have the upmost respect for you and Chris for sharing your journey with us and providing insight to other parents (as well as the rest of us) of autistic children.
BTW if you haven't seen the movie "Temple Grandin" I highly recommend it. True story that won an Emmy and Golden Globe and is available on DVD.
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I just recieved an email from the director of my own sons program today asking for our vision statement for the next 3 years. His meeting is in 3 weeks. He will be 19 and is in a program for chidren/ young adults with Autism. I have done so many of these meetings and I do know how special it is Ali to have people who deeply care for your child. I also know how important it is that they know how hard we work at home with our children. You should be so proud of Simon and yourselves!
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At the end of your 5th paragraph I was wondering whether the faculty members of the school system in Australia do this. It's amazing that so many people would dedicate their time to ensure Simon is on the right track. What a true treasure they are.
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I'm a special education teacher and it fills me with much happiness to hear such wonderful insights from a parent perspective...it makes my heart happy when I hear about people half way across the country doing good things for kids, we are all so very connected! Go Simon! Here's to his goal setting and accomplishing in the coming years!
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As a public school teacher who sees over 400 kids a week, I want to say how refreshing it is to read POSITIVE about educators and the work we do to meet the needs of EVERY student as best we can each and every day. Thank you for sharing your positive experience and gratitude, Ali. It means so much to know we teachers are appreciated!
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hi ali,
i have a third grader who is also autistic and i agree with your sentiments about his support team. They are true advocates for my son and I made sure I expressed my appreciation for their time,effort, support and love... yes,they are more than just educators - they are nurturers.
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We sat through several years' IEPs, with my daughter present as well as the rest of the team. She suffered severe traumatic brain injuries, which automatically qualify a student for services. We had the same experience as you, Ali, and others. It helped us as parents to know that there was a safety net of support around our daughter.
She didn't like the net very much! After her freshman year she opted to drop the IEP, knowing that she could pick it up whenever she felt the need or any of the team saw the need.
May Simon and all children with differences that make it much harder for them to 'fit in', to learn, to socialize be surrounded by strong networks of support.
If only. Our children ARE our future. We must invest in them, in many ways.
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I live in China. I have three boys. One with a learning challenge just diagnosed this year. He is 10. I volunteer at an orphanage where we are trying to build a preschool that the kids (many with physical as well as developmental challenges) can attend every day so they can develop social skills, fine motor, gross motor, etc, etc, etc. Anyway, your post makes me so thankful for the resources we have in our country. That a child with challenges gets all of those caring adults and professionals around the table advocating for him. Of course it says a lot about each individual at the table, but it also says a lot for our society and our nation - that we truly value each and every individual. Our system may be imperfect, but the intention behind it is that every life and every person has value. Everyone has something to contribute therefore we nurture and protect each and every one as best we can. Peace & love to you and your family!
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